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Senior Year Ended In The First Week

Here is a story…

That hits close to home, one that is a scar that will never truly heal

It can be hidden but never completely healed

This is my story

I was a college Sr. in my FIRST week of school

I went out with friends, had 1 drink to celebrate

Came back and after about 1 hr had 1 beer

We were ecstatic to be seniors, ready for the future

Greek life was consolidated into 1 hall, my friends and I decided to go downstairs to a frat hall

Who would have known that 1 decision would change my life.

I remember very little on the hall, seeing other seniors, catching up with acquaintances

Then its black. Nothing. No Memories. Just, HAZE

Through the haze is where the scar is deep.
Faint memories, of being in the dorm lounge, being touched & penetrated.
intercourse, but not actually being “there”
The face.
That face, I try to forget, im lucky in a sense to not remember more.
But does that make it ok?
Is it ok, to have been told how I was found through a security report?
-NAKED, UNCONCIOUS, HELPLESS, with NOTHING BUT A USED CONDOM & A BLANKET (barely covering me)…
Is it ok, to have been taken to the hospital and NOT had a rape kit done?
IS IT OK, that the person who did this to me “apologized” and justified leaving me there by saying “we couldn’t wake you up…we tried…you were passed out…”
IS IT OK THAT HE IS STILL AT THE INSTITUTION AND WILL GRADUATE?
IS IT OK. IS IT?
FUCK NO.
That one decision to go downstairs doesn’t place the blame in my hands.
That one decision to have a few drinks doesn’t make ME at fault.
And yet, not enough evidence, not enough witnesses, and my case was dropped.
But It was enough, enough to impact my life forever. To sear a scar that will NEVER heal.
Yes, I am stronger today for it. But only because of the support, real support from my friends and family.

I am sad to say, I was relived when my case was dropped. I relate to many other survivors.
Ones who had the blame placed on them…
“they were too drunk….they were asking for it…they would sleep with anyone…”
This NEEDS TO STOP.
WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO HOLD THOSE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

REMEMBER THIS. CONSENT “voluntary and informed, and the person consenting must have the capacity to make the decision.”

— Survivor, age 22

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