Sexual Abuse

i haven’t had a good upbringing. my mum left when i was 2 and left with me my step sister dad who isn’t related to me. (at this point i never knew) when i was about 7 he started to do stuff, touching me and my friends and making me strip in front of him and watch videos. it was horrible but at that time i couldn’t back chat or he would of hit me. i thought when i moved to a new area with my dad and sister it would stop but it carried on. he started to have sex and it was every night nearly for 6 years. he did the same thing with my friends and many times police was called but i couldn’t tell the truth because i was scared and i thought he would hurt me. when i told someone i was at school, i found out he wasn’t my real dad and that day was the worse. my teachers and head teachers and support workers were really good but loads of people where panicking then the police turned up. by end of day there was CID and social workers. i had to go to an interview via video link then i got put into my auntie care for 3 week so they could find me and my sister a foster placement. my dad got let out on bail and he lived round the corner. i saw him in town and i was nearly sick and froze. my sister got a placement first and then it hit me, nobody wanted me. my auntie couldn’t look after me from the stress of what happened and they couldn’t find me a placement. i felt so lonely and unloved. i was put with my sister for a weekend so they could find me a place but then her caregiver said she wanted me to stay., but it didn’t last long because my sister hated me because i told and she thought i was lying. i moved to many placement what broke down because i hated living away from home, minus of what my dad did, but it felt weird. i moved into my first care home and it was looming to my court date, for his dad and his mate who did the same thing. after falling out an crying and having nightmares at night it finally came round to my dads. it was horrible and scary but i did it same with the rest. i’m glad to say my dad got 15 years and my granddad got 2 year suspension but his mate got not guilty. it messed with my head. i ended moving about and started drinking and going out. when i moved to my latest care home i would go on walked at 11pm and wouldn’t come home till late. i would get some fresh air and sit someone and stare at stars, the thing what messed with me the most was police where involved with me for good and bad reason, the staff weren’t doing there job right they would call me names. i would get bullied by young people, stuff nicked, things i wasn’t allowed. i ended getting into situation where i nearly killed my self with overdoses, but people started to believe me and i could feel the guilt of my dad going away. i still have nightmares and i still think a lot about what my dad did and everyone else. it still makes me upset but as i say i got be angry with him i’m just upset he put me in a situation like this, because growing up in care has been the worst 2 years in my life. i’m hoping to get my therapy back, its so hard just wish all this never happened.

— survivor, age 16