My name is Roberta and I was sexually assaulted as a child. I was sexually assaulted by two men on different occasions. Both were acquainted to the family. One man sexually abused me on one occasion, while the other did it for years, from 7 to 14 years of age. I never told my family because I was ashamed and afraid they wouldn’t believe me, or the blame would fall on me somehow. This abuse left a big scar on me and sex is not something normal to me, as I can’t even have one night stands. As I was growing up, I never understood this but when puberty hit, it made more sense. To this day, very few people know this. I hope to be brave someday and be able to tell my family someday, but the fear of their response is bigger and the shame of being vilified is something I won’t be able to live with.
— Roberta, age 36
I understand telling them will help. I was assaulted when I was 7 and a 7 year old telling her parents that her brother touches he inappropriately probably sounded insane.
Hey Roberta ! I relate to your story. I am currently seventeen years old (junior in high school) I was abused when I was 5/6 (2005/2006)years old by one of my cousins. Later on, who knows at what age or who did it first, I was raped by another cousin and by my cousin’s husband. This happened for many years.The last time I was raped was in Christmas, around 2011. I was later abused again by my stepfather (for 2 and a half years) (abused ended in 2014) My family has no idea till this day. I had depression when I was in fourth grade. When I was in 5th grade my depression got way worse because my parents separated so my mom decided to take me to a therapist. I had trichotilimania when I was in second grade, I was diagnosed after 3 years of having it. My parents blame themselves because of my behavior, but little do they know about what I went through. My momma has asked me if I was ever sexually abused by anyone, but I never have the guts to tell her. She is a victim herself & never told anyone either. I am confused too. I don’t know if I should tell anyone or not. I wish I can do something about this. Send them where they belong, in prison, but there’s no way I can do that anymore. I also have a vision that has followed me throughout my life. I believe I have been in an other ocasión of being sexually abused by a man when I was four too. I just can’t seem to remember what exactly happened that day. I told my step momma about my vision. She is also a rape survivor. I want to tell her everything that happened to me. I am afraid that people will reject me or judge me because I got raped. I wish this never happened to me. I am happy now. I feel like I am mentally better. I do not suffer with depression,anxiety,ttm, or self harm anymore. I am more confident, less afraid. I feel stronger, healthier. The only thing that’s left is for me to speak out, but that still kind of terrifies me. Just remember, you are not alone! And love yourself . YOU ARE NOT WHAT HURT YOU. You are worthy, and your voice matters. I hope you are able to speak out. I hope I can too. Stay strong!💜 We got this!
Dear Roberta – you are already so brave by writing your story here. Telling people what happened to you can be so hard but I have found that there are people who can be so loving and supportive. But it can be hard to find those people. I started by telling little things to one person. And then slowly opening up. It helped me to remember that I was in control of what anyone knew and what I said. If you want, there are hotlines where you can “practice” telling your story without using your name, which I found really helpful too. STAY (don’t become – you already are) brave and strong. I believe in you!