I don’t know what to call this. I am 18 year old male. I was at a mates house and it was a massive gathering of people. I ended up passing out three hours in and spending the rest of the night on the mattress in the spare bedroom. My friend comes in and starts making me touch her body when I’m conscious but have no control over myself because I was really drunk. The next day I gave it a lot of thought and today is when I’m writing this. I have a lot of anxiety and I just don’t know how to categorise this. If anyone here can help or share similar experiences with me, I would be incredibly grateful. I did talk to a couple of friends briefly and they did say it wasn’t my fault but something still doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like something is missing in me but I feel like I am being to extreme. I don’t feel the same as I did before. I can’t stand the thought of her anymore and it makes me so angry that it has come to this. A couple weeks back now we talked how I didn’t want there to be anything with between us, I’ve been seeing this other girl and i really genuinely like her. But I feel like my anxiety has got the better of me and taken me down further than it was before.
— Ethan, age 18