When I was 11 my mother began a relationship with my stepfather. I was a very self conscious kid, I was bullied a lot. He would often tell me I was pretty and I’m like an ugly duckling and one day I would blossom into a beautiful woman. My elder sister went to live with them. After she had moved out a few years later, I moved in with them. Initially, there was a lot of body comments, criticism, but would often stroke my leg or touch my bottom. One day, when my mother was at the hospital after an asthma attack. He got out some lingerie and asked me to put it on. He kept saying how beautiful I looked and how, much of a woman I looked.
He then did things to me. He told me not to tell anyone, not to tell my mother, she’d kill him. After than, whenever he’d try to touch me I was angry and I often was accused of being disrespectful and rude. My attitude was defensive, but because I had not told anyone, it was just put down to teenage behavior. A friend of my stepfather must have known, because one day, he attempted to be one intimate with me on an occasion where he was asked to take me to the airport.
It wasn’t until I was 29, I actually told anyone. I had decided to keep the secret because I didn’t want to be the cause of any problems as a result because my mother was happy and because of my half-sister.
When I did, after I became a mother, I told everyone close, I had to., I confronted him, sadly my mother pretends now like nothing happened, she doesn’t want to believe it. And it’s affected my relationship with her. I told my husband and have since divorced. It’s been 3.5 years since I opened up. I am now in a loving relationship with a woman.
When I told my older sister, she told me of her abuse and said she was so sorry for not confronting it when she was younger, because if she did, then it might not have happened to me. I hope that if anyone has struggled to confront it, it goes a long way to healing yourself and it may or prevent it from happening again. I’m glad I watched this film, I hope it inspires strength in many who have been victims, in all the forms it comes.
— Survivor, age 31
Dear survivor,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It reminds me how important it is for survivors to have someone to talk to. So many wait years to tell someone, only to find out that others around them also experienced some form of sexual abuse. I’m really proud of you for finding the words to disclose at 29. It takes so much bravery and strength to speak up. Brave Miss World certainly inspires strength in survivors to speak out and speak loud, but so do you. It is the words of survivors all over the world that help end the silence of others. You are very brave. ~ Light and love, Alissa