After six years, I am finally allowing myself to acknowledge that I was raped. The rapist was someone who I had recently became close friends with. It happened after a dinner party at his apartment, after everyone left. I was so shocked and confused I didn’t even realize what was happening, my body almost went numb and I felt physically powerless, but I was shouting NO! I was 19 and a virgin. I reacted with shock and denial. A few months later I moved across the country and started a new life. I am now married and my husband is the only one who knows about it. I am having what I think are PTSD symptoms and I don’t know what to do about it. Should I talk about it to a family member? Would that help? I have anxiety attacks and I get very irrationally angry sometimes, which are things that have never been in my nature…how do I heal? I am back in my hometown where it occurred, and I can’t stop thinking about it now.
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Sharing your story is an important part of healing, you have already begun the process. Continue to share your story and be kind to yourself and you will start to notice a change. Often times it is hard to know how to be kind to yourself, a good counselor would help you. Know that your story has been heard and someone has been affected-I have never commented on anything ever but I hear you reaching out for help and I hope you find it. I.