After six years, I am finally allowing myself to acknowledge that I was raped. The rapist was someone who I had recently became close friends with. It happened after a dinner party at his apartment, after everyone left. I was so shocked and confused I didn’t even realize what was happening, my body almost went numb and I felt physically powerless, but I was shouting NO! I was 19 and a virgin. I reacted with shock and denial. A few months later I moved across the country and started a new life. I am now married and my husband is the only one who knows about it. I am having what I think are PTSD symptoms and I don’t know what to do about it. Should I talk about it to a family member? Would that help? I have anxiety attacks and I get very irrationally angry sometimes, which are things that have never been in my nature…how do I heal? I am back in my hometown where it occurred, and I can’t stop thinking about it now.