I know that this is a site for women who were raped. I would like to share my story if it helps too.
I was 6 or 7 years old when my cousin (between 15-18 years old) moved to our department. He was living in the country side and he moved to our big city to have a chance to study. (This is in Latin America.)
I barely remember his face, but I remember we were alone in a room and he started to touch my butt. I felt uncomfortable. Then he started to finger my ass and I didn’t like it. It was so uncomfortable and I told him to stop. He told me not to say anything. He did it several times until one day I told my parents. They told me to go to another room. They talked to them and he left my place.
After this event, year after year my parents asked me if I remember him. I always say “No, I don’t.” They also asked me if I remember why he left. I said “No”. I lied. I was so embarrassed to tell them that I know what happened to me. I felt guilty, I don’t know why.
I am 43 years old now and for many years I forgot. Since 5 years ago, I have been thinking about it. In my mind there is always this question: “Why did he do that to me.” I was a little child, fragile and vulnerable. Why did he took advantage of me? Why? Why? I still cry. I still feel a deep pain in my soul. I have talk about it barely to a therapist. I don’t know why this is still bothering me. I still feel hurt. He ruined a part of me.
— Survivor, age 43