We had lived in a small subdivision at the time and everyone knew each other , and we always did stuff. I was 8 at the time and I had gone to stay the night at one of my friends house, but we’d gotten into a childish fight.
I left her home and started to walk to mine, but I was in tears with what she had said so I didn’t see the van coming up behind me. I was suddenly grabbed from behind, I started screaming and shouting, but nothing came out for he had a hand over my mouth. I was through in the back of the van so hard I barely was conscious. After what seemed like forever he reappeared, and grabbed me by the legs to drag me out. I was thrown over his shoulder, while kicking and struggling to get away. He opened a door, and threw me to the ground. I was picked up once again, and put into a chair, but then was bound. I kept crying and asking him to leave me alone but he just pried open my legs and raped me. Blood started to come from my legs, but he just grabbed a paper towel and started to clean it up.
The pain was unbearable, when I woke up I was back in the van. He didn’t realize it but I had still been awake as he started playing a sick game with me, he thought I was unconscious and just not responding. But, I stayed quiet.
Every night I have nightmares with his face in it, everything he did ruined me. I have cuts all over me from my razor, because of everything he said and did. If I had known it was rape then I would have told my parents, but now I’m too ashamed. Only two of my friends know and they both said it was my fault. I can’t help but think it was.