I was approached by a student on campus and he told me to break up with my current boyfriend because I would be his. I took it as flattery at first even though he creeped me out. I would see him on campus but he would just stare from a distance. That was freshman year. The following year when I moved off campus he found me. His girlfriend actually lived in the same complex. He started sitting at my door in the morning. Following to catch the city transit. One day he told me that I was going with him. He grabbed me and forced me into his car. It was cold and rainy. He took my shoes and my purse before we entered the home. He pulled out a brand new box of condoms and told me his plan was to use them all! This doesn’t happen in real life. He raped me continuously. I couldn’t believe it; this was in 1998 and I still haven’t fully grasped it. I thought I would end up on a milk carton. He thought in his sick mind that I was his girlfriend and that this was a romantic day together. I played along so that he would be comfortable leaving me alone. I called a friend quickly to meet me somewhere when he finally went to the bathroom. No shoes no purse and in the rain. I don’t even remember his name. I feel like a fool: never reported it. Ten years I can still see his face, smell him. So disgusted!
— Whitni, age 37
Dear Whitni,
Experiences like that can be incredibly difficult to fully comprehend. They seem to defy reality. I just wanted to let you know that what you said about how you experience this all these years later makes perfect sense. I also wanted you to know that not reporting it in no way makes you a fool. Less than 40% of sex crimes are ever reported. I think one of the main reasons for this is because so much of the time the survivor can barely make sense of the experience themselves, not to mention the emotions that come in the aftermath. I hope that putting your story to words and sharing it here helps you. I really appreciate you sharing. Light and love to you, Alissa
Thank You!