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Still Going

I can barely remember my childhood but Im going to let it go and share what I do remember. Im 33 years old and grateful to have survived.
I remember my mothers husband raping me at the age of 7. He was sexually, mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. He was a well respected man in our community and a sergeant in the military. So when I finally couldnt take anymore I called a hotline. I was done. My own mother allowed him to do this to me. And I was tired of being scared after 5 years.
So…after calling the hotline an investigator showed up. Wow. I never thought things could get worse but I was so wrong. They believed. They didnt do a damn thing. They gave him a lie detector test and he passed!!! That comfirmed my fears. He was crazy..he didnt think there was anything wrong with what he did.
So I ran. At 12 years old I stole my moms car. I drove 4 hours and ended up in East St. Louis. The car ran out of gas and this man approached me and offered to help. He said it wasnt safe for me to stay there and insisted I go to his home so he could get a gas can. So I did.Even though my gut was screaming for me to stay in the car. All I can remember after that was waking up chained to a pipe and naked. I ended up convincing him to let me use the restroom and when he did I ran. Someone called the police and saved my life. He is doing life in prison now. 3 other girls identified him in their attacks as well. After that I turned to drugs. I was pimped out at 12 years old. I dont remember much because of being hit in my head with a brick. After waking up in icu I vowed I would fight and stand my ground and I did that. Im not going to tell my entire story yet..Im in the process of writing a book. I just want to say its about time something is done!! #metoo!!! Women we guide our children. I could never live with myself if my children had to endure any of these things!! Its time for us to shine light on these crimes!! Noone deserves to feel that pain,to feel alone, to feel worthless, used, insecure, god the list goes on. Thank you to everybody who is speaking up and who is supporting each other. Oprahs speech said it all!!

— Survivor, age 33



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