I was dating this guy that my family had a lot of connections with. He came over to my house one day. I was 20 years old and I am now 26. It started out as just kissing but he went to far and the next thing I know he was raping me. After it happened I think we were both in shock. The only thing he said was do you want me to go and I told him to leave. I was so scared and shocked that I didn’t tell anyone. I remember my mom asking me why I had blood on my sheets and I told her I started my period. He was a skinny guy and I had bruises on my inner thighs from his hips. To this day I cannot see guys that are skinny. I was talking to a nurse the other day and told her what happened. She encourage me to tell my mom but I still too afraid to tell her what happened. I’m scared that she will be disappointed because I am not a virgin for my wedding day. The nurse told me about how her daughter was also date raped and as a mother she thinks I should tell her. I am a counseling student and feel like it is my job to help those who have went through what I have been through. My only regret is not reporting him because I’m afraid that he might have hurt other girls after me. I want to tell my mom but I need some help.
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I am really grateful that you shared your story. I am also very grateful that you are going into the counseling field. The empathy you can show to others will be such a huge asset. I want you to know that only he is responsible for the behaviors and hurt he has caused to you and to anyone else he might hurt. Sometimes we remain silent in an effort to protect ourselves. Only he has the blame for anyone he hurts. Telling your mom can be very scary. It brings up a lot of different emotions. She may be disappointed, but know that it is not YOU that she is disappointed in. You did nothing wrong. I’ll keep you in my thoughts as you navigate this disclosure. You are very brave. Light, love, and solidarity, Alissa