Stockholm

I was 16 and I became friends with a girl who was 17 and about 6/7 months pregnant. She was a pathological liar who I found out came from a very messed up family. She took me on vacation with her two sisters, her oldest sisters boyfriend and her father. We went to Wisconsin Dells for a few days where her dad let me drink and smoke whatever I like. I thought how cool that someone’s dad could be like a friend. At this time in my life my grandfather was dying and I was desperate to get away from my family. After the few days at the Dells, we went to Appleton to meet the rest of her family. First night we got there, we drank till I blacked out. I woke up in a puddle next to my pregnant friend and could only remember what I was praying was a nightmare. We spoke later that evening and discussed what had happened… I thought I was okay. I thought I would be fine and I was okay with it. It happened again the following nights till I got home. This continued for almost a half of a year. I was stuck in a family that desperately needed a mother. I thought I could fit that. He bought me whatever I wanted and supplied me with mass amounts of drugs that kept me from seeing what I was doing to myself. I was lying constantly to my family to myself. I used people to find a reason to stay. My life became a distant memory. He was emotionally abusive and on a few times physical. I finally told them I was never coming back one day. And I didn’t. I told them to never speak to me again. It haunts my dreams. It haunts my memories. I’ve only told my best friend and my boyfriend. A few other people know that I’ve fallen out of touch with but no one else will know. And the people that were involved in all that would not say it was rape. They would tell you I was a liar and I put myself in that situation. Constantly I believe that it could be true. I don’t know. Here’s my story and it blows.