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Stronger Than You Think

i’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I’m a girl from Sweden. I’m 17 years old now and i have a horrible story of my life to share with you.
The first time i was 14. I had just gotten into my first relationship (i know a Little to Young for that but i never had anyone that gave me attention or cared for me not even my parents.) he seemed sweet and funny but i was so wrong. Everything seemed fine at first but after 3 months he started to push me into sex but i denied him that because i was a Virgin and i did not want to lose it yet but one day in october (1 week after my 14 birthday) he lifted me up and carried me to his bed and forced himself upon me. I was so scared and i was in so much pain and shock that i could not do anything. I was to afraid to leave him and i thought what he was doing was okay so i did not leave him and he continued to rape me over the next 7 months again and again and again. i dont even know how many times he broke me but the worst part is that i got pregnant and when he found out he abused me until i had a miscarriage. After 10 horrible months i left him and meet another boy. i thought it was all over now and that i could start to heal again. when i finally started to heal again it all went wrong again. I was at my new boyfriends apartment (he was 20) and suddenly he started touching me even when i said no and tried to stop him he continued. and there i was broken again. the rape was fast but 3 years later it still hurts. i learned afterwards (1 year ago) that he was a known rapist. i started to heal again and turned 15 and meet a new boy. he was 1 year younger than me so i thought that everything was going to be okay this time but guess what… i was wrong again yeah seriously again… he wanted to lose his virginity and was ready to do whatever he could to lose it and that was exactly what he did. so by this time i was 15 and had been raped by 3 guys multiple times. good start for a teenager right? the last time was when i was almost 16 and meet another boy (19 years old) he also seemed fine at first and i trusted him but once again my trust was broken by someone who claimed to love me. the first time he did it was in his parents cafe. we had promised to work that day because his parents was going to stay at a hotel so celebrate their anniversary. He did it when it was no one in the cafe. he dragged me into the part of the cafe where they make their homemade ice cream and he laid me on my belly and laid on top of me and did what he wanted even though i begged him to stop and tried to escape. he did not stop until a costumer came in to the cafe and he had to stop to serve the costumer. but the costumer did not notice anything and i did not tell anyone and i was to hurt from the last times and to tired after all the times this had happened to me. so i ignored it. the second time was at his and mine apartment. he chased me after a fight and wrestled me down on the floor and pined me down and ripped my clothes of and did it again.
I have not told my parents about this (except for the first time this happened but the charges was dropped and the case closed because he lied police interrogation and told all of my friends that i lied and i did not tell anyone about it except my family so everyone believed him and i lost all of my so called friends. no one except my current Amazing boyfriend knows about this.
i wanted to share my story because i’m 17 now and i’m so strong, i’m so proud of myself. i Went to hell and back my first 16 years but now i have the best boyfriend in the World. he has healed me so much and he is the reason i’m still alive and telling my story. Remember. dont you dare give up, you are strong, don’t let anyone destroy your life. if you are going through hell just know that you are not alone and when you come out you will know how strong you actually are and one last thing. NEVER EVER EVER let it slip if something like this happens to you take revenge by putting them in jail. you can save someone by doing that. if the girl Before me had reported the 20 year old one he would never have gotten me and if i had reported him i could have saved the girl that he raped after me. please don’t carrie stuff like this on your own. and if you are going through a hard time right now i want you to know that i’m so proud of you for still fighting and breathing. i believe in you and i wish i could be there to help you because even though i don’t know you who are Reading this i still care about you and so do someone else so please don’t end your fight with taking you own life. raise from the Ashes like a phoenix and fight back like the warrior you are. thank you for Reading this.

from a hell of a strong happy 17 year old girl from nowhere in sweden who Went to hell and back and arise from the ashes stronger then ever.


  • carrie
  • Alissa Ackerman


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