When I was 8 my oldest brother began touching me and by the time I was 12 he had penetrated me several times. He tried to get me to give him a blow job but I refused. He preformed oral sex on me though. He would make me sit on his lap with both our pants off, while he watched porn. I have severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, and i don’t even know what else. What he did was wrong an i know it’s not my fault but sometimes I can’t help thinking what could I have done? Also during that time my female cousin began touching me in the shower, she was caught a few times but nobody did anything. I don’t hate my cousin because she only did it a handful of times and it was nothing really bad, but my brother? He messed me up. I HATE BEING touched by anyone, and not just sexually I mean even someone touching me in a friendly way like on the hands or shoulder. I want to tell someone but I want to do it when I can control what happens to him. I forgive him (kinda) but I will NEVER EVER forget what he did.
— Tina Stone, age 17