When I was younger I was told that I would have to rely on my brain to get me places because I wasn’t going to meet someone who found me attractive physically. I went through most of my life with an extremely low self esteem and found it odd when anyone found me appealing in any way.
When I was in middle school however it was the worst. I was a person that was mean and angry. I was so angry at everyone and it was all because I hated myself. And it was at that moment I found out I was sick. I won’t go into too many details about what I was sick with but to put it shortly some of my organs were beginning to shut down especially one organ in particular.
At that point, I was told I needed to undergo surgery or else my chances of survival would be slim. I declined because I didn’t care. I didn’t care about what happened to me. It was at that moment sitting in that hospital chair that I met him. I will call him Tom.
By a stroke of luck, we happened to cross paths. Tom sat down in the chair next to me and chatted me up. And from then on we became friends. He was so sweet in the beginning. One thing that was always nice was he always looked at me like I mattered. Like I was important.
It took me a while to realize it but apparently he had a crush on me. I knew for a fact I didn’t feel the same way and I would politely turn down his advances. At this point, we had been friends for over a year but his advances became more and more persistent and I increasingly became more and more uncomfortable.
Eventually, I ended up blocking his number and ignoring him as he would cease to leave me alone. This worked until I reached my junior year in high school. Thats when things began to get physical. At this point, I was in my junior year of high school and a lot more confident in myself and had a good group of friends. I was happy. My best friend whom I trusted everything with was very aware of what Tom had been doing over the past couple of years.
I kept receiving strange messages from a number that I didn’t know. Extremely sexual and very angry. So I blocked the number. Until that didn’t even work. I realized there was only one thing I could do. He wanted to see me. He missed me, so I arranged a meet up. I didn’t realize how stupid this would be. I arranged this meeting at his house. Alone. I didn’t realize what would have happened.
I went to his house alone and I do have to say this will be graphic. The arguing started and I tried to reason but Tom wouldn’t listen. He was so angry. About how I ignored him and how much he missed me. And I went to leave and he pushed me into the wall behind me. I hit that wall with more force then I could describe and I remember sliding down said wall and then I felt him slap me.
I was panicked. I couldn’t even breathe. I remember he stood over me and then kicked me so I was laying on my back. And I clearly see it in my head, when I tried to crawl away from him. And I remember when he pulled me back to him and was on top of me. And from there anyone reading this can understand what happened.
I told my best friend only half of the story. He still doesn’t know what really happened to me. I didn’t want to worry him. I guess thats the end of the story. I still get weird texts from him sometimes. Sometimes he apologizes, other times he says how much he wants to see me again for a repeat. I can’t say that I’m doing horribly because I’m not.
I survived, and for once I’m happy. I’m happy because I survived being sick and I survived being raped and losing a best friend. And I am strong. So I hope my story helps someone. Even if it doesn’t thanks for reading.