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The Night My Life Got Destroyed

I was foolish…my very close “friend” raped me with his friends it destroyed me.
At that time i was 17 and he was 19 , we where friends ever since our childhood and we were neighbors-he betrayed my trust he betrayed our friendship.
My mom made it clear on that day that i wasn’t allowed to go out and i must stay home with my brothers. I however didn’t obey her ,and i wish i did … I do regret not listening to her. I simply called my “friend” and i jumped out the window and placed some pillows on my bed so that if anyone checks in they’d think it was me.
And i went inside the car , where he introduced me to his other friend who was sitting on the passenger seat and i was at the back. I was told that we will go to a restaurant to meet the rest of our friends. But my stomach felt uneasy and i knew something was wrong but i just went with the flow being more aware of my surroundings. And we picked up another guy. They were all older than me i felt like a child and that i really need to leave.
But i didn’t and the ride took a longggg time and i had to ask about that. And that is when they all started giving each other looks and the guy next to me held my neck and forcefully kissed my lips i was confused,shocked,and scared i kept pushing him off but i just couldn’t. He just wouldn’t get off me. And when he did he went out of the car and i was just looking around trying to know where i am while rubbing off my mouth from his taste as i was repeating…”my first kiss…my first kiss” he took that away… There was no one around and he told me so. He said you can scream , run, or do anything but no one will hear you. And he was right. The next hours where all torture they are the worst moments of my life. Pain. Pain is all i felt. I would faint and wakeup ,faint and wakeup. And every time I open my eyes it is a nee guy on top of me at the back of the car. I could hear high fives, laughs, belts opening,zips opening and closing. I wanted to die. I had no dignity. They took everything. They held me down and i just couldn’t stop them. They looked me in the eye. They punched,slapped and kicked me. Until the pain took me to sleep. And then they just left simply. They left. As if they did nothing. And they threw me on that street.

— Estelle Lazirsi, age 19


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