I was raped at college just after turning 21. Off campus at FSU. It was New Year’s Eve, 1979. He got in & blindfolded me. I was raped repeatedly for hours. There were no roommates or neighbors, no cell phones, nothing but a pair of scissors I was fixated on across the room, 3 drawers down in the dresser.
I went into shock, my legs shook uncontrollably, I bled, fingerprints all over my throat where I was choked. He put the pillow over my face to smother me. I played dead to survive. I wouldn’t move for hours not knowing if he was still there.
I called the police, they came, said it was my fault because my friend left the door unlocked. The intense, overwhelming, shame permeated every aspect of my being for countless years. My personality changed, unwise choices, my heart was cold.
After a devastating divorce, I went for help. The healing began. I became a rape crisis counselor in another state. Helped many but the shame in my own hometown, too great.
I am a survivor; have overcome to travel the world. This wound is still there but am stronger because of it. I applaud the courage of Miss World, she is world-class indeed. Thank you for helping us all heal. God bless.
You have helped so many others after your terrifying survival. I am grateful for your dedication to others.
I want you to have peace after all the care and concern you have devoted to others.
Despite the scarring you are the same person, with the same dreams, hopes and talents.
No one can take from you who you are. Giving is in your nature.
Love yourself best!
This just changed my life. I felt stupid thinking my personality changed cause of this. And my heart went cold like you said. I have only anger in my heart. My lives pushed back. But now knowing someone else feels this way makes me realize I’m not crazy. Thank you