My sister and I were 17 when my parents (in an effort to help my cousin turn his life around) offered for my cousin to live with us while he worked on bettering his life and making changes. At the time, he was on the most wanted list I believe for drug related things. He lived in our home for 6 months.
Very soon after he moved in to our home I noticed that my sister was starting to act differently. I made numerous remarks and complaints to my parents about not feeling comfortable with him living with our family, but my comments went without response from my parents. After all, I was just talking about not feeling comfortable, not about anything actually happening.
My sister became far more jumpy at even the smallest things. At first I teased her about it, but then she started to have seizures at night and very fitful dreams. She was always unresponsive during these times and all I could do was to hold her and just tell her “I am here for you, I am here for you.”
I was so scared, but I had no idea what was happening. I would beg her to confide in me, but she never would. Around the end of the six months of his living with us there was one day we were coming home from school, I got home first and thought it would be funny to scare her so I hid behind our front door and jumped out when she came in. She immediately fell to the ground screaming and crying “NO! NO!”
I cried so hard that day for a sister that I knew was going through something horrible, but I had no idea what. I could not have imagined.
Very soon after that she finally found someone she trusted to talk to. This monster had so manipulated her into believing that no one would believe her and that if she did tell he would do the same thing to her close friend and kill her family.
People like him are no longer human, they chose to discard their humanity for their chosen life of being monsters.
He got 2 years of probation because he convinced the courts that my sister had somehow asked for this. He violated his parole by raping a woman he was dating and then only served a year or two in jail.
The law should work for the victim, not the perpetrator. But too often they either get away with doing these things with the victim being blamed.
People like Linor will change the world eventually, but we must all step forward to make this change happen in our lifetime to protect those who come after us.
You are right People like Linor are changing the world, but I want you to know that YOU are also changing the world. Survivors are all different, but many of the emotions they experience are the same. One thing survivors say a lot is that they just want someone to support then, to be with them, and to believe them. You’ve done these things for your sister and that is all so many survivors wish for. You are spot on with your comment about victim-blaming. We not be able to change the system overnight, but supporters like you who stand by loved ones who are experiencing trauma is so powerful. It shows us that we not alone and that we are loved. Thank you so much for that. You are an incredible sister.
Your sister is so lucky to have you, and we are very lucky to have your voice in the fight against rape and other forms of sexual trauma. You are very brave, and so is your sister. Much love to you both.