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The Worst Feeling

Hello, I am 27 years old, came across this story on Netflix. I was abused as a chid. At 5 years old is were it all began. I was abused by my cousin, he was about 22 years old in that time. My mom would drop me off to my uncles house whenever she need to run errands and little did she know what was happening. I never told her anything because I was told that that was normal, by the abuser, but it felt so wrong. I would cry that i did not want to go to uncles house but mom never knew why. That scared me for life! It changed my life completely. Ripped my innocence and childhood right off me. I happened so many times that i lost count. Never told my parents until a second person abused me. I was 14 years old then, thats when told my parents. We never pressed charges for either men. Since they were both family members i was always worried about what would my family say? would they believe me? would it make a difference?? So i never confronted them. When i was 20 years old I was sex abused/rapped by a “boyfriend” of mine. And not only sexually abused but verbally and psychical abused as well. I was stuck in that relationship for 2 years. Couldn’t get away, I was afraid. Afraid that he would tell everyone, afraid that my parents, my family, my church friends would find out. But until one day he hit me so hard that knocked me out and rapped me. And when i woke up i was naked, with video 2 video cameras in the room. He recorded it all. And thats when I decided to end this circle. I thought it would never end. All 3 times where different but all 3 were painful. I have moved on from that thankfully to God that has helped me through it. I still havent seen any of the 3 abusers since it all happened. But if i ever come across them, I pray to God to give me strength. Everything happens for a reason, even the bad events in our life have light at the end!

1 comment

  • Alissa Ackerman


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