One night I went over to my friend’s room. I was having a bad day so I drank until I couldn’t anymore. He decided to walk me back since I couldn’t even hold myself up. I thought that was just him being a good guy. I later realized he wasn’t. I don’t remember much from that night but I do remember throwing up everywhere and my clothes being ripped off and put back on in a disorderly fashion.
I spent the next couple days crying in my friends arms because I knew he had done something to me but I didn’t know exactly what. He went on living his life the same way like nothing was wrong while I was unable to get out of bed. I avoided him for weeks until finally we ran into each other. Since, he is friends with all my friends I knew it would happen. I didn’t think that I would trust him again though.
I drank excessively again and once again he was there. He raped me again. Every time I just thought “well maybe he just didn’t know” or “I was really drunk so I probably did say yes and just don’t remember”.
That is until I went out with him and a group of our friends. We all decided to stay in a hotel together. Everyone was drinking and I decided not to. Everything was going fine I was talking to everyone and having a good time. Then he grabs me and pulls me into the bathroom. He starts kissing me and pulling my clothes off. I pushed him off of me and tried to leave. He wouldn’t stop though he trapped me in the corner of the bathroom and wouldn’t let me move. I kept pushing him away and telling him to get off but he wouldn’t.
After, that last time I knew he was a rapist. Before I had wanted to see the best in him even though what he did had emotionally scarred me. I thought that he was obviously a good guy that didn’t know what he was doing. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I just wish I had realized it sooner.
— Survivor, age 18