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Too Far

I became sexually active at 14. I thought I was pretty educated and mature about sex after my first partner. I wasn’t, however, educated on rape/assault/etc. I only had a basic view of what “rape” was.

That all changed. A guy who was a mutual friend of my group, who were mostly older (I was a freshman, he was a senior) asked to hangout. He was pretty cute and popular. He was a big guy. I’m very petite. We would hangout and smoke and make out after school sometimes. One day, it progressed into sex. It was normal consensual sex at first. But he didn’t have a condom. He suddenly pulled out and put it in my behind, without a word. It hurt so bad I screamed, “woah wait no!! No!” But, he wouldn’t stop.

I didn’t know how to stop it. He said “sorry I gotta finish somewhere and there’s no condom.” After he was done, I was furious. I put my clothes on and made him drive me home. I got in the shower and I was bleeding from my behind. I didn’t cry at first. I figured I put myself in that situation so there’s no one to blame but me.

It actually took a couple years of processing and learning before I realized what happened was a rape and that it wasn’t my fault. Even though I was able to come to terms with it mostly, to this day I still stick up for all women and men who feel they have been violated!! God bless all survivors.

— Survivor, age 20

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