I was a Junior. I lived in school housing and went to a party at a house 2 blocks from my room. I arrived and one of the guys who lived there asked me to come check out his CD collection. He got aggressive, pushed me against a wall, and I told him I was not interested and I had a long-distance boyfriend. He wasn’t happy, but let me go back to the main room where my friends were. I made it very clear I did not want to have sex with him. I had friends at party and I came with them. About 7 hours later, I “woke up”’ with him inside me. I pushed him off and ran the 2 blocks to my dorm. I still get sick at smell of obsession which was cologne he was wearing. I still can’t handle the smell. My scrunchie (remember when scrunchies where in style?) smelled like him, like rape. My friends felt bad …since they were a couple and stayed there. They had to know?!? I had told them early on he was aggressive and I was I comfortable. But, i blame myself. I should have left. It was my fault he raped me. Even thought i told him know before the drinks took hold. I had to see him on campus. He was a law student. Powerful. I was nothing. I had to act like nothing happened. His roommate (my friends boyfriend, a law student too) knew. She knew. But I passed him on campus and acted like he didn’t rape me. I have trouble having sex to this day and I’m married :(- and obsession makes me gag. I don’t even know his name. I know how roommates name. Maybe one day I will find my rapist and make him Accountable. He knows I did not want him. I told him so, multiple times that evening.
— Survivor, age 42