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Two Times

I have been raped 2 times in total, both in the same place, both by strangers. The first time was hang rape, they chased after me pinned me down and took turns with me. They told me it was my fault for wearing a skirt that showed some of my thighs or a top which was a bit lowcut. Each time I was penetrated it hurt like hell, I screamed for them to stop but each time I screamed they just laughed. I was there for hours as they did as they pleased with me, then they left me there broken so I had to go home alone and I could barely walk. I had a shower when I got back, I must have been in there for over an hour just trying to wash myself. I was only 13 when this happened and my dreams have never let me forget it.

The second time was only a month ago, it was only one guy this time, he grabbed me from behind, covered my mouth, and threw me on the floor then used me to his satisfaction. This time I told the police and I told them about the other time as well but they said I was lying because the chance of being raped by a stranger barely ever happens, so for it to happen twice is impossible. They said I was probably just in regret from having sex with someone and I have mixed up my definitions of rape.

I am now pregnant, and honestly, I don’t know what to do. I only turned 16 last week and I haven’t finished my education, I know having a child now will probably ruin my chances of having a good life, but my life has already been ruined by these monsters, I don’t think I can kill my own child.

— Survivor, age 16


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