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two years ago

two years ago i came home from a club in paris, and took the nightbus, suddenly a few guys started making fun of me, i dropped my earphones and said: ok enough!
than the one guy stood up and started beating me, at first nobody in the bus helped me, so i got really hurt

finally a man stood up and i ran towards the busdriver, but he really didnt care, he just wanted me to leave the bus, when i got out of the bus i didnt recognize the guy had also left the bus at the same station, i started walking when i feld him push my arm and and trying to pull me, i was extremely scared and had pain everywhere

the streets were lonely

he followed me, threatened me and hit me again
i didnt know how to get rid of him, there was nobody, all the bars and hotels were closed

i felt trapped and hoped i could quickly get in my house and close the door behind me

but he forced the entrance
then he was in my appartement and started saying that he beat me because he thought i was so cute
he then raped me
he was very drunk
after the act he fell asleep, i grabbed my telephone and called the police, told them i was beaten up in a bus, and that this crazy man has gotten into my appartment
the policeman started laughing, he said: so now u want to press charges against a whole bus?!

i said, no i want u to help me to get this man out of my appartement

he answered that it was my own fault and that i shouldnt have let him get inside

the next hours were hell, he woke up a few times, went and threw up in my shower, force me to have sex again, i didnt know what to to, at one point i had a knife in my hand, but i couldnt let him destroy my life even more

after 12 hours of pure hell he left and said:
u are free now

i never went to the police, they made me feel like gay-rape didnt exist, that i made up the story, that it was my own fault

its been two years now and i slowly get back to being the happy person i had always been before
i have less nightmares
but there is a deep blessing inside of me that i have to live with and accept

i wished i could find the strength to go to court and that he will get punished for what he did to me

1 comment

  • Libby

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