Earlier this year, I was drinking heavily at a bar and ended up going home with a guy. I don’t really remember getting to his place, I don’t even remember what he looked liked, or what his name is. We had kissed and danced at the bar, and the next thing I know I was naked in his room, with him on top of me, I remember him doing things to me that I did not say yes or no to, I remember laying there with him on top of me feeling lifeless, I had no reaction as to what he was doing, it felt as if I wasn’t there, I didn’t fight back at all, because it was my first time, isn’t that what you are supposed to do. When we were actually going to have sex I remember saying yes, but he had told me that I had to do it, and I just kept saying I can’t, I can’t as I laid there. I don’t know how long I was actually with him, I don’t know all of what happened I blacked in and out, I am just confused, as to if I was actually raped or not? All I remember is being kicked out with my underwear in my hands and having to walk home alone.
— Survivor, age 19