It was my eighteenth birthday. My mom took me to Olive Garden and the movies. My older brothers took me to get my first tattoo then dropped me off at me best friends house where we planned to throw a party. She invited her on and off again boyfriend who played football at the college a town over and brought a few friends over with him. They were already hammered by the time they got there. As soon as he walked through the door, he zeroed in on me and made a beeline for the couch I was on. At first he was fun, I enjoyed flirting with him and he seemed nice, it helped that I thought he was cute. He pulled me onto his lap and kept handing me drinks. There were maybe ten people there and I spent most of my time in this house so it never crossed my mind to be careful. Soon, he started getting handsy. Just getting out of a long relationship, I wasn’t cool with this. I gently removed his hands and asked him to stop. He didn’t, so I tried to get off him, he wouldn’t let me. He started pulling on my clothes as I repeatedly YELLED no and stop. I distantly heard the guys he came with singing “no means yes or maybe”. I desperately looked for another girl to help me. I made eye contact with a girl I had only just met, a friend of a friend. She looked away. He pulled me shirt all the way up, tugging my bra down as I slapped at his hands. He shoved his hands down my pants groping me and trying to rip them off. He exposed me against my will to an entire room and no one did anything even as I sobbed and asked for help. I finally got off him, shirt torn. Only for the rest of the guys to bump and nudge me into a bedroom across the room. I’m a small girl and they were all football players, I couldn’t get away. He undressed me as I tried to fight him off. When he threw me across the bed naked I just stopped. I froze. I felt him moving over me and in me. Distantly. Suddenly the door was thrown open. My friend had co me back from her beer run and heard noises. I was broken from my trance and lunged for my clothes. I ran across the room for the bathroom completely naked hearing the laughing and cat calls from everyone as I passed. I dressed and gazed at my reflection before heading back out. Just like that. I smiled and asked not to be left alone with him like nothing happened. No one questioned me, no one looked twice. My best friend slept with him that night. Consensually. The ironic part is that I was so hammered I would never have remembered his name. Well, if he hadn’t repeatedly told me so I would remember.
— Kaley, age 20