At the age of 11, I got my first boyfriend. He was a 16 year old boy that went to a near by high-school, and I had my eye on him for awhile. We were together for about 6 months and he always wanted to do more but I never did. Some days he would call me to come to the back of his school to hang out. While there he would ask me to suck his cock, and I would want to please him. One day when he called back there, he had about 6 older friends with him. I asked him what was going on, and he told me that he owed them. He then told me to suck all there cocks and I refused.
They were all drug users that were about 20-25. They grabbed me and ripped my close off. I looked at my “so called” boyfriend and asked for help but he was helping them. They all raped me in all my holes, leaving me bloody and naked on the ground.
When I got home, no one was there so I got in the shower and went to bed. After a few days, I never saw him again until one day he showed up at my house. He always knew when I was home alone. He only wanted to have sex and even if I said “no,” he still would have. So, I let him.
Turns out that he only wanted me because I was young and fresh. I soon became depressed and didn’t know who to tell or what to do. I soon became the girl that everyone fucked. Guys would call me and tell me to come to their house. No matter how old they were, I still did it. By doing this I got pregnant twice.
Thank you so very much for sharing such a difficult journey with the Brave Miss World community. You have experienced an incredible ordeal. Your story is incredibly important because it speaks to some of the effects of victimization that many survivors don’t talk about. You did, and that is incredibly brave of you.
I hope you continue on the journey to healing and that sharing your story here helped you in that process. Despite your experience, you are beautiful inside and out. <3
While reading your story, I began to think back to my own similar experiences. It was as if I needed to comment here, so I do hope you get this message.
1. You are NOT someone’s play thing, now matter how old you/they are.
2. Your past ONLY defines who you are IF YOU ALLOW IT TO.
3. When you stop blaming yourself for what happened, you’ll learn you’re beautiful on the inside, and find true strength.
I did exactly what you did by becoming the fun toy. After my sexual molestation/rapes, I believed that’s all men wanted me for and just gave in whenever, wherever and with whoever wanted to. But one day I learned an important lesson… I was special inside and out. I didn’t HAVE to give MY OWN body to anyone… I began to love myself. Once that happened I became strong. You can do this too, my dear… Simply by understanding that you’re not anyone’s fun time unless YOU chose to be that. Never allow someone to make you feel guilty, either, for not wanting to do anything. That’s THEIR problem, and not YOURS!
Now, get out there and pamper yourself, be kind and gentle to you. It’s the best start I ever took and you can too… Good luck to you!!!!