What Was I Thinking?

I was 14 when I was raped. I lied to my parents about sleeping over at a friend’s house and instead my (now ex) boyfriend picked me up. We had fun and drank and had a party. After about 10p.m. he got high, I went to a room and locked myself up. I went to sleep thinking I’m safe

I woke up and somehow he got in. He came to me and before I realized what was going to happen, he pinned me down on the bed. He pressed my arms above my head and when I felt my pants being ripped off, my entire body just went numb. I couldn’t fight back at all.

I was laying there, thinking “What am I going to do?” Everything was full of blood. Eventually he decided to get off me. I was dazed, having an exact idea of happened. I got my phone and called my mom. She picked me up and took me to the hospital.

At the hospital the nurses were buzzing all around me, asking me questions, checking to see what the damage was etc. A police officer asked me what happened and I refused to talk to any man at that point. They called a female officer in and she asked me if I was in pain or not. I nodded and the nurses gave me painkillers.

Weeks after the rape, I was still pretty much stressed out and very dazed not knowing exactly what had happened. Now sharing this story I know I can get over it. I am 17 this year and I have learnt to get my life back on track.

— Alexandra Le Grange