June 23, 2016 is the day when I lost myself. I am not the same person as I used to be. The happy preppy girl died. Daniel killed that girl. All the people that were involved wont ever be forgiven. Its May 14, 2017 and I still suffer the pain. I have to relive this day over and over again. Its like a never ending roller coaster. It all started so innocent, helping out a friend and then it ended up being violently raped. It was none stop to the point where I stopped fighting. I lost and everything inside me was numb. My mind wasn’t my mind anymore, my body wasn’t mine. Was this the worst part? No. Blacking out and no knowing what happened and telling the cops your story and having to repeat it. The hospital was horrible, I remember having to tell 5 people in the period of one hour. Then going back home and not able to sleep, hours pass and nothing. The guy I was with for almost 4 years leaving me and I was all alone. If I did went to sleep it was only for an hour, waking up with my own screams and pleading for help. Having no one that understands the pain, the anger, being scared, and the emptiness inside. This drove me to commit suicide but then being taken to the hospital. I finally was sleeping with the help of medication but medication wasn’t helping with the emptiness I felt. I started Stony Brook University with all these problems and ended up failing every class and almost getting kicked out of the University. It hasn’t been a year of the accident but I still feel like it was just yesterday.
— Survivor, age 21