When I was 15, my boyfriend asked me if we could have sex or any sexual contact, I said no I wasn’t ready. We had been dating for 2 months. 2 nights after he asked me, he took me out to see a movie. We sat in the back and he put his arm around me.
Half way through the movie he put his hand on my thigh and started moving upwards toward my private area. I moved my hand and told him to stop. He did, but only for a few seconds. He then tried to stick his hand up my bra. I moved his hand and got up, walked away.
I left the theater in hopes of never seeing him the rest of the night. I was wrong. A quarter of the way to my house, he drove by me. He apologized and wanted to have me sleep over his house, I thought why not? I got in the car and we drove off.
When we arrived at his house, we went to his room. I asked for water and I got some. 3 sips was all it took until I felt dizzy. The next thing I realized was I being carried.
I was put on a bed and I passed out. I woke up maybe 30-40 minutes later with pain. then had I realized it was my boyfriend. He kept on going for another 10 minutes. Of course, I was ties down to the bed, screaming. He untied me and gave me clothes to put On.
He took me home. He told me if I told anyone, he would do it again and kill me. That night I told my mom and she told the police. My boyfriend was caught and sent to jail for a few days.After he got out, my mom landed in the hospital After a suicide aTtempt. She survived.
We got death threats in the mail, we all knew it was my boyfriend, soon to be ex. I called him that night and broke up with him and notified the police. He was later arrested and spending 5-15 years in prison, possible parole.
To this day, I feel like slut. He got me pregnant with a beautiful girl, named Alyssa Hope. She is now 1 years old, but still feeling like a slut. I never deserved to get raped, and I fear for my daughters life, she will one day be raped.
– Amanda Todd
Amanda, it is really great that you shared your story with Brave Miss World. I want you to know that you did nothing wrong and that you did not deserve what happened to you. He made the decision to hurt you and you are never to blame. I hope in time you come to find that his actions do not define your worth. You will come through this. Sometimes bad things happen, but I hope you know that the world is still a beautiful place. There is still a lot of love to go around – like the love you have for your beautiful daughter. There is light and love in the world and your daughter will see that in you.
Thanks Alisa. You are the best. I just don’t get why he did this over me saying no. It’s not fair, then again, life’s not fair. Thank you
Amanda,
You pose a really good question. I think there are different answers to your question, but the one that makes the most sense to me is that sometimes people take things (or people) they believe are theirs even when there is no rational basis for their behavior. Nobody deserves to be raped and nobody has the right to take from you what he did. No, it is definitely not fair, but I truly believe that healing is possible and that you can make meaning out of your experience. You are very brave 🙂