Having already been raped once by a guy who I thought was the most loveliest person in the world, it happens again. But by my own cousin. I still hadn’t come to terms with the first rape considering it only happened two months before my cousin raped me. It took me a long time to tell my supportive family. Still to this day I regret not reporting the two men. But I’m only 18, and I have already been to court after being beaten up and mugged when I was 16. The people who beat me up and mugged me hardly got any justice. So I thought, well what if the court doesn’t believe me? What if nobody believes me and think I’m lying? What if it will all be a waste of time? I had suffered from severe depression beforehand and I was doing so well until I got raped twice. By two different men. After reading so many survivor stories, I decided to open up and get it off my chest. Whether it works or not, I don’t know. But I’m ok.
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So many survivors say that putting words to their experiences is healing. I am grateful you took the change to get this off your chest and I hope it brings you peace and healing. All the questions you raised about going through the courts make sense, because all too often these questions ring true. I want you to know that I believe you and I know you aren’t lying. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from a stranger, but I believe you all the same. The journey to healing can be long, but I believe with all my heart that it is possible to heal. Take good care of yourself and know that you are supported here by an entire community. Lots of love to you.
I am so grateful that reading all of the survivor stories here moved you to open up. I want you to know that I believe you. I hope that writing this brings you knowledge that you are supported by the entire BMW community. Reporting is a hard thing. I won’t give you advice but I will say that when you figure out the path that feels right for you then I support you in my heart. I hope you are able to focus on continuing to heal from your rapes in whatever form that takes – and there are so many. Please know that I am pulling for you, I believe you, and I believe in the strength you have that will drive you toward healing.