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May 8th, 2019

Spoke out and was blamed

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I am the only girl at a job of 4 men. I am also 20 while these men are 40+. One worker would grab me from behind when I would walk in the back to the bathroom. This would happen often. One day all my coworkers had to go outside...
March 17th, 2023

Indigo

I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on our weekly journey across the Bay Bridge to the Campus. The other student was an accomplished Quilter named Linda MacDonald. Linda lived in Willits near the famous Mendocino Art Center, but traveled to Berkeley to attend this class once a week. The Indigo vat was made in a 32-gallon garbage can and had to be kept covered between dyeing sessions. Indigo is a unique rich blue dye that develops with an oxidization process when exposed to air. Dipping the fabric several times, and allowing the natural fiber to oxidize before dipping it again, creates darker shades of blue. The dye in the vat is created from a mixture of indigo pigment, various chemicals and a reducing agent to remove oxygen from the dye. It is a rich green color while in the vat, which shows up on the fabric before it is fully exposed to the air. The smell emitted from the dye is unusual, a musky odor in my mind. I like to think that it smells like the color blue. The vat needs to be carefully stirred and maintained between dyeing sessions. There is a “bloom” on the top of the vat created by oxidized indigo, making a bubbly and shiny ball of material reminiscent of a flower. The “bloom” gets moved to the side before entry of the pre-wetted fabric. The process reminds me of baking bread or making yogurt where the steps need to be carefully followed to achieve the desired results. In the process of bread and yogurt making, there are living cultures involved in order to create the product, and with the creation and dyeing process of indigo, it has that same feeling of being alive. In order to create interesting patterns, my classmates and I would use resist techniques on the fabric like pastes, stitching and clamping. Simple household items like clothespins could be used to create patterns by folding and then placing the pins at intervals along the fold lines. Beautiful and surprising results were achieved using these methods. Image of Indigo dye on fabric during the oxidization process. My dream of being a professional artist, all started in early childhood, and the first memories of my creations go back to Nursery School. I loved playing with all kinds of materials, like paint, clay, and crayons, just to name a few examples. Mel (Melanie), painting at Jack and Jill Nursery School, Walnut Creek, California, 1960. In 1974, a neighbor in Marin where I was living at the time and studying art at College of Marin told me about an Art School in Mexico. I ended up sending off slides of my work with an application to the Instituto Allende, and was delighted to hear that I was accepted. I began my journey to study there in San Miguel de Allende by flying to Mexico City in January of 1975. A bus ride completed that journey. When I first arrived, I moved in with a family who had two small children, including a newborn. It seemed like a safe living situation for a 19-year-old woman, but that shortly proved to not be true when the husband started coming on to me. I ended up finding my own place on the other side of town. It was a spacious abode with a wall that was shared with a weaving factory next door. There were 2 adjoined bedrooms, a bathroom, a large living/kitchen area and a small concrete patio out the back door. There was no hot water, refrigerator or a telephone. When I needed hot water for dishes, I would boil some on the stove. For showers, I had to build a fire in a box below a water tank outside to get hot water. I felt much more secure living there and walking a further distance to the Instituto on the other side of town than living with the husband who had made me feel so unsafe. There was the Central Plaza, which was called the “Jardin” that was in the middle of town, and I would pass through it on my walk quite frequently. This was the site of fireworks and festivals, like the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. The streets were cobblestone and many charming shops and galleries were located downtown. The School itself was on a beautiful campus with large ornate doors in front that were closed when school was not in session. Photo of the closed front doors of the Instituto Allende I had heard about you and what you had done to other women before you appeared in my main living space one sunny spring afternoon pointing a gun at me. You had a bandana wrapped around your face and tied behind your head. I had heard you first, in the bathroom. Dressed in a long polyester dress with colorful psychedelic patterns. I wasn’t wearing any underwear or shoes. I walked through the 2 bedrooms and turned left when I saw you standing there. I screamed and shouted, “help me,” thinking that workers at the Weaving Factory would hear me and come rescue me. Nobody came. You said to me “Coyote” which I later learned meant to be quiet or to shut up. You grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out the unlocked back door onto the concrete patio. The tops of my feet got scraped. I gave up. I knew you were going to rape me. I just wanted you to finish as quickly as possible. You took off your belt and put down your gun. Somehow I managed to pick up your gun and threw it over the wall embedded with glass on the top, into the alleyway. The same wall you had climbed over to get into my place through the unlocked back door. Towards the end of this ordeal, I heard a knock on my door. You left, climbing back over the wall. I answered the door. My friend Rhonda had come by to visit me. I told her what had happened and we walked to the Police Station nearby. I had your belt with me. The one you left behind. I went to the front counter, telling the officers behind the counter what had happened to me. They were laughing and playing cards at the time. I showed them your belt. They told me to bring you in if I saw you again. I left with Rhonda and took a bath at the where place she lived. We didn’t talk about what happened. We moved in together shortly after that. I sent a telegram to my father and stepmother about what had happened to me. Nobody came to help me. Rhonda helped me when I got hepatitis A and could no longer go to school. I was on my own when it came to figuring out how to return to the Bay Area. I moved in with my father and stepmother. They didn’t talk to me about what happened to me. They sent me to a doctor who diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. He showed me how to give myself insulin injections. He told me to practice by injecting oranges with empty syringes. My mother told me years later that “You were never the same again” after what you did to me. I survived. I gave up art for 15 years before realizing that I wanted to go back to art school. In those years, I became so disturbed that I had panic attacks, deep depression and needed to move in with my mother at age 30. I started therapy after becoming self destructive in my 20’s. Depression also called “the blues” has been my long time companion. It has taken me a lifetime to heal. My iPhone predicts the words, depression, PTSD and C-PTSD for my text messages. After my Indigo dyeing class at San Francisco State, I enrolled in the Textiles Fine Art program at California College of Arts and Crafts (now known as California College of the Arts) in Oakland. I was married at the time and had become pregnant with our daughter Emily right before classes started in September. Emily was born on May 13, 1991. By the Fall of 1992, I was a single mom and an art student. An inheritance from my mother who died in 1995, allowed me to graduate and to buy my first home. I continued to work with indigo dyeing and created a large textile piece about my experience in Mexico. After many years of therapy and other healing modalities, I recently started painting on canvas. Part of that process has been a Soul Retrieval session to bring back my 4 year old self who loved to paint. I am feeling uplifted and encouraged after many years of recurring periods of severe emotional pain. Stay tuned for more details about my new work. One of my final pieces was a textile called “Out of the Blues.”
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I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on...
September 18th, 2019

Raped in the Air Force

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My first duty stationed 28 years ago, i was sexually assaulted by my first supervisor and violently raped by an officer in my unit. The violence of that raped, ruined me for a long time. Suffer from severe PTSD and after 31 years i am being forced out of the...
April 1st, 2021

Sex doll

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After work one night I was drugged by a co-worker. I woke up in his bed naked. He was not in the room. I felt 2 emotions very heavily and immediately. Shame and wrong. I remember looking around for my clothes in a panic. I don’t remember how I got...
August 26th, 2020

Stranger, Friend, Lawyer, and Youth Leader

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People have accused me of being a liar and the one with whom the fault lies… repeatedly. They use statistics to give themselves a platform to shame me or to feel better about their lives, because they don’t want to face reality. The reality is that statistics are not always...
November 11th, 2016

Let’s Fight Back With Love

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Hi fellow survivors. The recent posts I am seeing on this site sadden me because we are all strong survivors and we should try to always remember this. I know like me, many of you are still having a hard time processing that a man who is so clearly a...
May 10th, 2019

My Story

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Question for my future self… do you ever get over rape? My relationship with my current boyfriend was as everyone describes very much a light switch, always on and off. As you do when you are angry and break up with someone you go meet up with other people in...
June 11th, 2025

Just Words

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Just words. You have trouble talking about these things. You realize you have trouble talking about a lot of things. You remember being excited about your first job at Dairy Queen. One of your friends works there and you know a lot of people work there as a summer job....
July 29th, 2013

Why: A Poem About My Rape

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Soothe my whys with soft whispers Wipe my tears with your love Make me whole again No more, I beg No more No more Unwanted touch Unwelcomed Stiff, rough caresses No man to hold me down, Give me forbidden kisses Legs forced apart Like rusty hinges Hinges to a door...
July 16th, 2020

Mental Breakdown

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My life’s a mess at 19, but I don’t like complaining to people (friends + family) because I don’t want to burden someone else with my problems, and to be honest nobody really cares like that, I don’t want to project myself as this ‘weak abused girl’ so later on...
July 25th, 2020

Manipulation

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At the beginning of my sophomore year, I was at a new school, and this guy started talking to me very early on. People at the school don’t like him, at all, but I didn’t know that, I was new, and he always pulled the new girls who wouldn’t have...
May 6th, 2022

My Ongoing Journey

2
When I finally decided to switch my major to psychology and now pursue my career as a therapist, I got a lot of questions. Things like, why do you want to be a therapist? I got this from family, friends, and even strangers back in the time I served tables....
December 11th, 2020

Letter to…

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To all the boys who watched porn and grew up thinking that’s how women deserve to be treated To the parents, teachers, adults who should know better, who never taught us about consent or that women are equal partners in sex To the society that made me feel like sex...
December 10th, 2021

Raped twice within a few hours

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I moved to Beijing in 2005 with my boyfriend of 6 years. We found a fun dive bar there one night, and made friends with a group of Americans, 3 females and 1 guy, dancing at an Indie Night there. As I danced with the new friends, BF was chatting...
June 20th, 2021

Your truth will change someones’ life.

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Brave Miss World is the first time I knew someone understands the gravity and the depth of what sexual violence does to the souls of the victims but their families. The battle to reclaim my soul’s back is the hardest work I will ever face. The internal growth is where...
September 17th, 2019

Multiple Date Rapes/Sexual Abuse During Teen Years...

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I am a happily married (39 years) mother of four beautiful children. My sex life has been such a struggle because of the past experiences I’ve had. The first time I was raped I was 14 or 15. My girlfriend and I met a couple of boys at the park....
October 10th, 2021

Is this normal?

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It all started in Febuary 17th 2020. My first boyfriend. At first he was sweet, he’d walk me to school, compliment me, ask me for consent every time he touhed me. But then the honeymoon phase wore off right after he took my virginity 3 months in. He started belittling...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
May 14th, 2021

16 and 45

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so im a boy and a met this girl when i was 16/15 ish and she was like 45 or something. anyway we met at a party and she was all over me kissing me. and as a 16 year old boy i thought it was cool and we started...
June 20th, 2021

Your truth will change someones’ life.

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Brave Miss World is the first time I knew someone understands the gravity and the depth of what sexual violence does to the souls of the victims but their families. The battle to reclaim my soul’s back is the hardest work I will ever face. The internal growth is where...
November 4th, 2019

I don’t know anymore

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My high school ends at 10th grade. So you basically start college at 16. As for me, I decided to go abroad and come to the US for college so definitely the rest of the college students were all older than me. I didn’t really fit in. Then one day,...
June 8th, 2023

Unethical or illegal?

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Last year my partner and I worked for the same business. It was a small business near a small town and it had no management or HR of any sort – only one man owned and ran it, even though it served thousands of people each year. I hit it...
December 13th, 2021

He was my best friend

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He was my best friend of 8 years. I was really leaning on him for support as I had just experienced my first sexual assault like 6 months beforehand. I was really struggling mentally so he offered to take me out for a night and we went into the city...
April 20th, 2019

“raped” by my long time bf

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One night we were out to bars with friends to get drinks, including my bf of 7 years. After drinking we went to a hostel room. Everything started as usual, then he wanted to have anal sex, which I refused cause it hurts, he answered with “I don’t care” and...
May 6th, 2022

My Ongoing Journey

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When I finally decided to switch my major to psychology and now pursue my career as a therapist, I got a lot of questions. Things like, why do you want to be a therapist? I got this from family, friends, and even strangers back in the time I served tables....
September 1st, 2019

My fiancé is my rapist but I...

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I have a past of sexual abuse but for the most part I’ve put it behind me though I get flashbacks every so often when watching a triggering show or something. My problem currently is my fiancé. This isn’t a new development in our relationship this started since we started...
September 14th, 2019

Men Like Brett Kavanaugh Make It Hard...

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This will come as no surprise to many, but I found myself thinking about my rape more and more during the Kavanaugh hearings. The rich student party boys taking advantage of girls at parties, forcing themselves upon at least one that we’ve heard about, it all seems too similar to...
July 22nd, 2019

Why

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Abducted at 8 beat up by my father because I was late home after abduction police called . because I was beaten after my trauma I was afraid to tell I was raped by a stranger in a garage at 11 in case he told my parents I was a...
May 1st, 2019

I don’t know if I was raped

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One night my boyfriend of three years was out with some friends drinking. When he came back home I was already laying in bed. We got into a little altercation and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was always a big drinker and I never liked that...
April 21st, 2021

A respectable collegue

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The next day I walked down the stairs to the hotel, aware that he was sitting at the table having breakfast. Some things you think would never happen to you, you think that working externally with a colleague (married and with children) is not dangerous. But then in a moment...
August 6th, 2020

I regret not telling

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When I was in high school, I dated someone briefly. He never told anyone about me to his family or friends. I ended things after a month or two, because he was really into kissing and wanted to do more than that. I didn’t want that though as I was...
April 17th, 2021

“I should do this more often”

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I was 6 the first time a man ever touched me. At the time I didn’t know it was wrong, I thought it was normal. My biological father would touch me in the bath and help lotion me up afterwards massaging me as he does. I knew I didn’t like...
January 27th, 2024

Blamed myself …

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I got raped multiple times. I got sexually assaulted multiple times. I blamed myself. I saved a lot of women from being raped even men and when I was being sa and raped. no one saved me till today. I go outside and see the people who did it to...
November 27th, 2024

I know when I see a rapist...

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The stalking, gaslighting, victimizing, and of course sexual abuse, were never okay with me. But you just don’t get that because you’re a predator.
November 2nd, 2020

Rape !!

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It is how and why I was raped , and being told it was my mistake
March 14th, 2015

Broken Trust

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I had a friend who I quickly became very close with. I was very depressed at the time and he was too so I spent all my time with him and went to his house everyday. However, when I started falling asleep there, he would touch me and I would...
October 15th, 2022

Male dancer

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Hello my Name is Tj. This happen about 4 years ago I was 19 years old at very young age I always tried to see the good in people. I was always happy and felt nothing could break me down went threw cancer as a baby lost my brother and...
June 24th, 2020

Too naïve

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I was 16. I had my first job, a lifeguard. I was so excited. I have been a swimmer since I was 5 so this was a very fitting job for me. I was the youngest person working there by far. Most of the kids were in college and one...
May 21st, 2019

raped by my own brother

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I was maybe 11 or 12 when i got raped by my brother. He would put me in his room and take off his pants and tell me to touch his penis and I was so scared i did. then he would take off my pants and touck my private...
August 18th, 2019

Abusée par un voisin de mes grands...

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Bonjour chère Linor, Je suis en train de regarder Brave Miss World. Merci! Je témoigne car j’en ai peu parlé dans ma vie. J’avais 4 ou 5 ans. Je vivais avec mes grands-parents et ils me posaient parfois le samedi chez la voisine qui me gardait pour aller à un...
October 12th, 2023

Workplace Sexual Harassment

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As I write this story to you, please note that this sexual harassment case is still in progress. It began in December of 2022 when I worked as a contractor for a company named TEKsystems. I do IT work for Nutrien Ag Solutions. The first week I was there, I...
January 18th, 2021

Finally Arrested

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https://myfox8.com/news/lexington-man-charged-with-indecent-liberties-with-a-minor/ One if the men who molested me was finally arrested… I never told on him but one strong child did! Thank you child, I am sorry I didn’t report this when I should have. You are brave!
November 3rd, 2019

No

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I was sexually assaulted at 10 years old. I need help.
August 30th, 2019

My story growing up with a secret

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I’m a black South African, I’m 40 years old now, and my son it 20 years old… loved, taught but I still can never live him alone with my nieces as I was left alone and violeted💔💔😭😭 I have spoken about this, but I hate putting this down in writting😭😭...
March 12th, 2016

Hurt and Anger

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I was 9 years old when it all started, my mom started working in a new restaurant and would leave at 5am and come back at 3pm, and my “father” didn’t work for he had a lawsuit that didn’t let him work. It was random when my “father” started to...
December 26th, 2019

Ms.

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I was raped by a co-worker when I was in my mid-20’s. We were at a work function, we were all drinking, then about 10 of us went to his place to continue the party. He grabbed me on my way out of the washroom and dragged me into his...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
April 23rd, 2021

10 years later I realised

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I went out with my best friend around 10-12 years ago. We got drunk, had fun, flirted, met some guys and agreed to go back to their flat for drinks. I remember us feeling a bit uncomfortable but going with it. We were about 19. We hadn’t kissed either guy,...
May 24th, 2019

The Statistics that Changed Me

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2 sexual assaults and 1 rape… the statistics of my story. I can’t promise that this story is pleasant, but I can tell you that power and growth comes with telling it. So sincerely, thank you for hearing me out. October 2017 I was in Chebut, Argentina(a part of the...
January 18th, 2021

Finally Arrested

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https://myfox8.com/news/lexington-man-charged-with-indecent-liberties-with-a-minor/ One if the men who molested me was finally arrested… I never told on him but one strong child did! Thank you child, I am sorry I didn’t report this when I should have. You are brave!
November 15th, 2020

J’avais 13 ans

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J’avais 13 ans j’étais allé avec mon amie chez un gars pour la soirée ils étaient trois gars et c’etait la première fois que je buvais de l’alcool et ce gars qui s’appelle pascal m’a agressé. Je ne l’ai dis a personne et j’ai fait comme si rien ne s’était...
May 9th, 2019

The First Time

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When I was 7 years old my mother met a man. I immediately thought of him as a father figure. They got married only 6 weeks after knowing each other. Just days before their wedding in a hotel me and my brother were washing dishes and the man called me...
February 28th, 2016

Living Nightmare

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Two years ago at about 1am this guy texted me and wanted to come over. Ie said he had a bottle of vodka so of course like a stupid little kid (I was 15) I was like oh yea come over. My parents were sleeping upstairs and my brother was...
December 5th, 2020

Summer 2019

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I got my first job working at a lovely Mediterranean restaurant/cafe one summer because my teacher said she knew the man who ran the place and put in a reference for me. I was 15. He was in his 60s. Two days after I started, the groping began. Only he...
June 21st, 2021

Drugged raped and failed by justice

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On March 31st, 2017, I planned an early evening out wanting to catch up with my good friend Wendy, 35, a teacher for the Santa Clara County Juvenile Detention Center. We went to a place in Downtown Willow Glen. Wendy picked me up from my home about 8 pm. We...
July 10th, 2019

So drunk I can’t remember

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I was turning 18. I was partying like any teen would. I drank a lot. I threw up, sat down. They picked me up and put me in their car. They said “don’t worry we’ll take care of you. You won’t miss the bus”. I remember lying on the bed...
August 4th, 2024

April 19th

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When I was in 9th grade I was invited to a party by one of my friends. I had fallen into a bad crowd. Kids that used drugs and drank, violent people, people who were arrested, vandals, stuff like that. I was incredibly depressed at that point and I didn’t...
July 7th, 2025

Pretty Girls

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Was it my fault for being born pretty? Has it always been an invitation for men make me do things to get them off? Was it the reason my uncle taught me to look him in the eye while I choked myself on him and try my best to keep...
July 18th, 2024

Not normal

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Molested from age 2-14 then raped by adopted father. I ran away stayed in the system till I got married to high school sweetheart.
August 31st, 2020

Mrs.

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 Hi I was raped when I was 18. I am now 40 and been told I have post traumatic stress disorder. I had just broken up with my first love and I went on a night out in Liverpool, UK, I was drinking and ended up kissing a boy and...
November 24th, 2020

My best friend

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He was my best friend. I was 18, and so was he. We decided to go to his place to study after school one day (like we usually did) and everything was like normal at school that day. He acted as if everything was normal.. However that all changed the...
April 27th, 2019

Everyone Else Likes You, Too

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I had never been to a bar before. Sure, I’d gone out to Applebees with other coworkers where they’d serve me drinks. But I was 19, and had to drive home. I had never been drunk before, and didn’t push my limits. I went to the bar to see him...
June 11th, 2020

Afraid, Ashamed and Alone

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It was a family member. I was sleeping over at their house because my mom had to get a cancerous spot removed on the back of her head. He touched me. He continued to touch me. And i just froze up. The next day, I tried to act like everything...
March 18th, 2015

The Stepmonster

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I was only eight when it originally started. My stepdad would touch me in my crotch and chest area. He would only do it with my mom at work. He would even do it in front of my little sister, but he never did it in front of his son....
May 4th, 2019

To my best friend who raped me

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To my best friend who raped me, I am so torn between feeling love for you and feeling hate for what you have done; what you have taken away from me is irreplaceable. On the first of May, I lost hope for all living things to live and breathe and...
August 10th, 2022

Middle school sexual harassment

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Hi, my name is Valeria. When i was in middle school i was constantly cat-called and sexual harassed. people would ask me to do things (I did a couple times until i caught on).