It was two weeks before my 15th birthday. I was on a vacation with my father and I was out with kids my age and 3-4years older. I had meet a few of them before. We were all drinking and it was my first time with alcohol.
After awhile, we went to a persons house and I needed to us the toilet. A guy knocked on the door and because I was on my way out, I opened the door. He then locked the door and came behind me and started raping me. I was so young and had not even had a boyfriend before. I felt it was all my fault, since i did not try to stop it.
I could not tell anyone about this for years. I felt so ugly and that the only way boys could ever like me was if they could do what ever they wanted with me. I talked with the guy a few year later, and he felt he had done nothing wrong and said I wanted it. Even though it is a long time ago, I still feel it is a big part of me. To be honest I feel kinda fucked up.
I am so blessed that I have found a guy to share my life with and he is my rock.
I think in some ways the effects of rape stay with you. It often changes the way survivors view the world. Healing is a lifelong process, but life continues. Just as you said, you found your rock!!! I hope you continue to thrive and that further healing helps you to feel whole.