My brother and I got into some basic games of “Doctor”. Nothing starting out as abuse, just a lot of looking, and a little touching.
One afternoon he inserted a finger, and I got a little blood. I went and told an adult, as I was supposed to, and because my mother was out, I went to my stepfather.
He had to see what was done, and he rubbed some ointment on it. No, I was so young that nothing seemed wrong.
We played “Doctor” too, and he progressed to using items down there. One day he changed to using his penis. He was taking care of me, so nothing was wrong, except that my brother saw us.
Now, one would expect that he would tell our mother. Not my brother, who wanted to play that way also.
We stopped calling it “Doctor” when I learned the “F”-word. This didn’t stop it, just what we called it.
My stepfather died in a work accident, and my brother moved on to girls his age. I just refused to acknowledge any activity clear into college.
— Survivor, age 18
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. What happened to you was NOT your fault. And refusing to acknowledge it is so normal – sometimes it’s the best way to survive, move forward in your life, and not fall apart. I would encourage you though, now that you’re in college, to seek out some therapy and work through what happened to you and what you’ve been through. You are not alone and you deserve to heal from everything. Sending you lots of love and support, Alexis