I have noticed that 5 years now i have become really afraid of men , people and everyone in general .I had tried to make myself think that that’s happening because somewhere someone made fun of me .Thats a lie . When i was younger , everyone who tried to make fun of me was being humiliated by me i was a fierce and outspoken girl In my senior year some guys flirted with me 3-4 times by telling me that i was pretty telling me that they want yo sleep with me and that a friend of them likes me Again i was afraid and i thought that was because they were mocking me or because i was not used to flirting .The cause was different. I was started to remembering that i had been molested at 14 and my fear of men exists since then and all these years i was fooling myself. The time that made me accept it was when this guy who said he liked me touched me inappropriately and made me relive my trauma . Now i am extremely paranoid i think that everyone will do that to me even if someone accidentally touches me i am triggered I lost completely my self-esteem.
— Survivor, age 19
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. What you’re experiencing – the paranoia and lack of trust and lost self esteem – sound like symptoms of PTSD. You can have PTSD even if you didn’t always remembered what happened to you; sometimes our brains block things out to protect us. What happened to you was not your fault and you are very strong for pushing forward and posting here. I would strongly encourage you to talk to a therapist about what you’ve been through and what you’re experiencing. They can help you work through your emotions and work with you to gain your self esteem back. Because you deserve that. Sending you lots of love, Alexis