I’ve spoken to some about my abuse, just those who are very close to me. My husband knows and close friends know. I don’t see myself as a victim and have never sought out a pity party. Recently my husband and I attended marriage counseling for various reasons, from there we had individual counseling, where I spoke openly about my abuse, for the first time, with a professional.
I wasn’t raped, but I was sexually abused by a relative by marriage when I was 5 or 6. I don’t quite remember how old I was… I don’t quite remember much from my childhood. All I know is that it stayed with me, has stayed with me and b/c of it lead me to make choices that I’m not very proud of… b/c I thought my body wasn’t important, valuable, or my right. I felt b/c of what happened, that others owned my body, and by others I mean men. I’m East Indian, my parents from India and I was born and raised in Vancouver. I have NEVER shared with my parents, especially my mother, who is my saving grace. And the reason I never shared with my mother is b/c it would break her, literally break her, and the last thing I want to see is my mother hurt or broken by things that happened to her children b/c she would feel that she and my father let this monster into our home and she would take responsibility for it and it would kill her. She herself has suffered a lot in her life…
Thank you for your story and thank you for letting me share mine.
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