Abusive Uncle

My name is Cara, I am 22 years old, and at the age of 6 my uncle sexually abused me for around a year.

From being born, until the age of 6 my life was so very normal. I remember playing with my brothers and my parents having such a fun time, until I moved to Scotland to be with my family. At first I loved it, my Gran lived on a farm, so I’d help feed the animals, and run around with my brothers, generally just be a child.

I guess that all changed in the space of a day, I used to visit my Gran once a week, every sunday afternoon. One sunday, my uncle invited me up to his bedroom, he was 18 at this time. I was so very excited, he’d never asked me before and I wanted to go up and spend time with him play games with him, have fun. I guess he started out by grooming me, showing me how to lift weights. I loved the quality time, so week after week I continued to go to his bedroom. He started to get braver and braver with what he was doing, and he eventually had me performing oral sex on him, and if I done it correctly he would then return the favor and perform oral sex on me. He would ask me if i was enjoying it. I was to scared to say I wasn’t, he called me his girlfriend and that no one should ever know.

This went on for what seems like forever, until he gave me a minor sleeping tablet that made me fall asleep for a few hours. I don’t know what happened to my tiny body when I was sleeping, and I don’t want to know what happened. A family member walked in to the room and asked why I was sleeping in his bed, and them asking this question woke me up, and he looked at me and said that he didn’t not notice me falling asleep, and that I must have been tired. I don’t remember anything ever happening after this event.

I have been scarred for life. I am now scared of men, and how they will react to me if i don’t want to perform or do any sexual acts. I drink to numb the pain and I feel like I am in an endless depression that will never lift.

I reported this crime to the police when I was 18 years old. He didn’t get charged as there was no evidence to prove it actually happened. He now is a free man, living his life on the other side of the world. Whilst I cry myself to sleep at night wondering if i will ever be happy again.