Ashamed

This is very hard story for me to tell but after finding this site and reading the other stories I’ve built up the courage to tell my story. I didn’t start dating until I was 17 and this was my first boyfriend, he seemed sweet at first always able to put a smile on my face. He was very good looking and new to my school and as this was my first experience with a guy I was excited to catch the new cute guys attention. It turns out catching his attention would turn out to be a nightmare. At first he held my hand and would ask for a kiss but at some point I don’t remember he began to bite me. Hard and painful that left marks on my skin the first time it happened I was confused and asked him to stop he just got angry and gave me the puppy dog eyes and would apologize and say it turned him on and begged me to let him do it. I refused and he nodded but it happened again a couple days later we went out to the movies and out of nowhere h e bit me again. This continued for a couple weeks it confused me because he was perfect except for the biting thing so I tried to over look it. But the bites would leave nasty marks on my neck and upper arm that I had to hide from my family and friends. After a month I tried to leave him but he would just stalk me in the halls and since his mom was the assistant principal I felt helpless. He would continually text me and ask me to come back and tell me he loved me promised to never bite me again and like a fool I believed him. So we started dating again and after 2 months of happiness he told me his grandmother wanted to meet me. I was very excited because I’ve seen in movies that when you meet the family it means things are getting serious. So on the day I was supposed to meet his family I did my hair up and put on my best dress and we met up. He took me to this apartment and as soon as we stepped in I was confused there was no one home. I turned to him and began to as k him what was going on but before I could speak he grabbed me and carried me to a bed in one of the rooms. I began to panic and tried to scream but he forced his hand over my mouth I’ve never felt so weak my punches and scratches did nothing to him he held me down and began to force himself in me it was my first time and it hurt like hell but nothing felt worse then the shame and stupidity I felt. He raped me twice that night When he was done I couldn’t move my bottom was sore and the bite marks he left on my body would never heal before I went home. so I ended up staying there all night. He tried to apologize when he woke up and I accepted ashamed I just wanted him to let me leave. Before letting me leave he made me sit for an hour listening to apologizes and after threat/asking me to not tell anyone he let me leave after making me promise to see him tomorrow. I felt like it was my fault. Afterwards I was on punishment for a month for staying out all night. After I convinced my mom to switch schools and changed my number I never seen him again.

— Survivor, age 18