I was born in Lisbon, Portugal and I have been sexually abused from my stepfather with the knowledge and the very concrete “look away” of my mother. There were also 2 other victims in the family and 2 friends of mine. This are the cases I know – people just started to speak now about it, when the last case was known. When I come out with my story, I had the feeling that my family – not all, but many – considered it an “exaggeration” because I was always seen as a sensitive, always crying child.
I am a survivor, I am strong and I manage to build up a good live. I am married and have two wonderful boys.
But the scars and the rage did not go away. All my tries to get along with my mother failed. She doesn’t accept any guilt, she never said ,she is sorry for me – on the contrary, she again and again tried to convince me to contact the aggressor again. The fact that she refuses to dialogue with me about it, makes ill. 9 Years ago when my girlfriend told me, that she also have been abused from this guy and my mother was sitting in the same car(!) I cut the relations with my mother and decided that she is “dead”.
But even if she really dies, I still have this rage feeling and this wish to understand, why she hates her daughters so much that she “offers” them to this sexual predator?
In your film and your song, you describe Mothers as a possible help for girls in the same situation. Mothers are not always loving ones… as you see! I am now 57 , I dont really think I can solve this struggle . In any case the woman is now in her late 80s and hiding behind a beginning insanity… how convenient…:)
— Survivor, age 57