Domestic Abuse

When I was 15. I was in an abusive relationship for a year and 2 months. He made me feel like he was perfect, like I would be nothing without him. At the start he was the only one that could make me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. And then something inside him changed. He called me a whore and a slut, he made me think everything was my fault, he stole from me. And abused me psychologically, emotionally and sexually. He raped me several times, those were the worst moments of me life. I told him to stop, I told him I didn’t want it and he carried on, he kept telling me “you’re so good” even though he knew I didn’t want it. I couldn’t talk about it for a long time. I told my best friend’s 7 months after it happened. They didn’t believe me, they called me a hoe and a whore and continued to be friends with him as see him and believe the lies he told about me. So I dealt with it by myself for 9 months, until I’d heard he did it to someone else and so I told the police. I spent a year going through an investigation, telling them everything that happened to me, telling them things I hadn’t even said aloud to myself. And then they dropped the case and it broke me to pieces. I tried to kill my self, my 10 year old sister found me, all I remember is lying in that hospital bed and her holding my hand, begging me not to die. I would do anything to protect that girl and he made me hurt her by what I did, because I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I’m 18 now and I’m on anti depressants, I see a counsellor every week, along with a drug and alcohol counsellor. I’ve had to drink every night to sleep, to stop the nightmares for as long as I can remember. I saw him 2 weeks okay three days in a row, and every time he looked straight at me. Knowing what he did and knowing t hat he got away with it. I can’t deal with it anymore, I can’t deal with being scared to leave my house and go into town because I might see him. So I had a meeting with the police and they’re going to review the case. I’m chair of coventry youth council and I run it. At the minute we’re doing a campaign fighting against domestic violence in young people. Because if the police won’t do anything to give me justice I’ll fight so I can protect at least one girl from going through what I have. Because he picked the wrong girl, I am no where near as weak as he hoped I was. And I’ll fight again domestic violence and rape for as long as I love, because it’s the worst possible thing that can ever happen to you, and I know that.