I was molested by my cousin when I was 10. We all lived in the same home. I was staying up late to watch tv and he was in the family room. He asked me to sit on his lap and watch a show. I didn’t think anything of it. Then he touched me. I remember moving his hand away and eventually leaving. I told my mom, but she hushed me. I remember her telling me to just stay away.
It’s 20 years later and I have flash backs of this moment. I hope,pray that it only happened once and my mind just hasn’t blanked it out for me. It has made me over protective of my children to the point I can’t imagine ever leaving them under the care of anyone I do not trust. I am angered at my mom for not standing up for me in one mind set; and then I know she was a victim of circumstance. Living in an extended family, having no real family of herself and no real support from her husband.
I have never told my husband of this incident. I still feel ashamed. I once was going to tell him, all I could say is “something bad happened to me when I was younger” he never pressed the topic and I never elaborated.
I hate truly hate the beast that did this to me. He was my brother, I loved him, why would he treat me like this? We are no longer on speaking terms. My rationale self can not comprehend how I continued to live, laugh and even love him. I saw your documentary and it shook me. I wanted to tell my story but I am not brave enough to speak out to my family to confront the beast who did this to me. Hopefully writing these words out will take some of the weight off of my shoulder. I have recently in last two years found God. Surprisingly to myself I have found comfort in a faith that I was not born into.
Thank you for providing me this opportunity. God Bless you and all of you brave souls that have stepped up and told your story.
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