Recently I went on a date with someone I met online. He was charming, cute, funny and I thought he was kind. He invited me over for some drinks and dinner. We were having a good time and he decided to kiss me. I was excited and enjoyed our kiss until he tried touching my boobs. I immediately told him to stop and I didn’t want to do anything more. He kept telling me I wouldn’t have come over if I didn’t want it. I remember telling him I was sorry if I gave the wrong impression but I wasn’t comfortable and wanted to leave. When I kept trying to get up he kept pulling my arm to make me sit back on the couch and trying to pin me down. I immediately became fearful of the situation. I’ve told men no before but no one has ever ignored my discomfort.
After trying to leave three times I just ended up running out the front door. I know I shouldn’t have gotten drunk at someone’s house. I know I shouldn’t have put myself in that situation but I can’t help but feel guilty. I was lucky enough to run towards the door and escape but he kept following me and trying to pull me towards him. I told him not to touch me and to let me leave… He wouldn’t listen after four times so I finally screamed. Luckily there was a security guard and a random bystander who stepped in. By this time I’m in tears because I didn’t think I was going to get away. Since things escalated the security guard contacted the police.
When they showed up I was drunk and scared. I just kept telling them he didn’t hit me (because he technically didn’t) and I just wanted to go home. I should have gone into more detail but I was just so scared at the time. Basically, he told the cops I was some crazy drunk girl who wouldn’t leave his place. I know I am lucky to have escaped the situation but I can’t help but feel so stupid. Stupid for going over. Stupid for drinking. Stupid for not being strong enough to speak up to the officers. Stupid for letting him make me out to be some lunatic. I am so thankful I ran. I just feel so guilty and stupid now for not telling the officers the entire truth and allowing him to get away. I don’t know how or what to think.
I know I’m fortunate enough it didn’t go any further but how do I shake this feeling of not having control over my own body.
— Survivor, age 25
Back in high school at a party in Hanover MA 2 or more boys entered a room I was passed out in and was raped by mike walendziewicz and then brian babino. people heard them talking about but nobody told me until years later. my name is Amy and if you feel ashamed and need to talk to someone.
Dear survivor – thank you for sharing your story here. What happened was NOT YOUR FAULT. It doesn’t matter if you were drunk and it doesn’t matter if you were at his house; that doesn’t give anyone the right to touch you without your consent. You are absolutely NOT stupid; you did the best you could in that situation and I’m proud of you for surviving. In terms of getting control over your body, I would encourage you to speak to a therapist about what happened. They can help you with techniques to use when you feel out of control. Your feelings are valid and you are very strong. Sending you love and light! Love, Alexis