I’m Alive

The first time it happened I was 9, it was two muons after my father passed away. He was my cousin, a boy I looked up too and someone I trusted. I still haven’t told anyone of that. Well anyone but who is reading this. Anyway, I didn’t really understand what was happening i just knew It was wrong. And he was wrong. And everything about the situation was wrong. He told me to never tell anyone and that he loved me. I still see him at family dinners. The second time I was raped I was 13 by a boy I thought i loved. The first rape had make me turn to cutting and depression so when this beautiful boy said he loved me I believed him. We had been dating three weeks. He was much older than me. 4 years older actually. I was at his house. When I arrived he asked me to have sex with him I said no multiple times. And he just said okay. Later that night he drugged me and raped me. He told me I wanted it and that we where dating so he could do what ever he wanted. I’ve never reported him. and I’ve only told my best friend of what he did. He’s still free today. And I’m still here. But I survived. And he has taken nothing from me. I am free. I am alive. I’m only 15 now but I’m still scared of him. But I am a surviver.