I was raped 5 months ago by a man I kind of “dating”. I had invited him around to my house to watch a film with me and he suddenly got pushy. I kept saying no, and he kept going.
He gave me an infection because he didn’t use a condom.
I felt dirty and used. I gained about 25kg, and I haven’t left my house unless I need too. Three weeks after it happened I tried to hang myself, and the police were called. It was the most humiliating moment of my life.
I can’t press charges because there isn’t any proof.
I understand that it might not feel like it now, but I can tell you that there is hope and that healing can happen with time. Sometimes the darkness and isolation seem like they will never go away, but they do with time and help. I don’t know where you are, but I do know that there are many resources available to help survivors deal with the emotional and psychological trauma of rape.
I hope that you find a safe healing space to process everything that happened and that you find the light that shines within you. Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story here.