I was 16, a young homosexual teen who’s society would probably blame me instead of him. He was my first actual “true love”. But we coudn’t publicly show out love (no holding hands/kissing/other form of affection). So one day,my mom went to my grandmother’s house to sleep over. So i invited my 23 years old “boyfriend”. After he arrived we cuddled, watched some movies,all was great until the moment where he started to kiss me and touch me, i first thought it was normal my body was supposed to be his body so he will respect it, but no he just did his thing quickly and woudn’t stop even when i strated pushing him away he didn’t stop. And he just left after that, i never heard of him ever again. After this phase of my life, i tried to comit suicide twice, but without knowing why i was depressed, i was in denial. And todays,two years later i still can’t love any men or trust any men.
— Survivor, age 18
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. What he did to you is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I absolutely recognize that society can tell you that but it is not your fault. You pushed him away and that should have been the end. I am so grateful that you are still alive because you deserve to heal from this. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist about what you’re experiencing. Trouble trusting is a pretty common reaction to situations like the one you’ve been through but a therapist can give you ways to cope with your emotions and depression. I believe in you and you deserve to heal. Sending you love, Alexis