It Was My Fault

My Ex-Male Best Friend Took Advantage Of Me And I Blame Myself.

We Were Best Friends. He Was Always There For Me. I Loved Him But That Good Is Now In Vain.

He Went Behind My Back With My Ex Female Best Friend And They Began Dating.

We Didn’t Speak For Months. Recently On The Fourth Of July He Apologized To Me For What He Did. He Expressed The Desire Of Wanting To Be With Me, He Told Me He Loved Me, But I Wasn’t Buying It, I Didn’t Trust Him.

He Kept Complaining That He Wanted To See Me So We Spent Time Together… Big Mistake.

I expressed An Interest In Drinking An Opened Alcoholic Beverage He Had, Knowing I Was About To Drink On An Empty Stomach

I Was Not Thinking… I Did Not Think I Would Get Drunk Because The Alcoholic Beverage Had Little Alcohol In It.

I Blame Myself Because I Made The Conscious Decision To Drink
I Blame Myself Because I Mentioned To Him The Drink Tasted Like Cough Syrup, And Yet I Decided To Drink It Anyways.

Soon Enough I was Extremely Lightheaded And Drunk And I Kept Saying “I should Not Have Drank That”

I Was Not Feeling Well.

I Laid Down In His Bed And I Was Out Of It.

He Proceeded To Put His Hand In My Pants And Finger Me For Several Minutes. It Hurt Very Bad…. I Was Too Weak To Stop Him.

I Managed To Mumble Out Stop And No, But He Proceeded To Turn Me Over And Take My Pants And Underwear off And He Got On Top Of Me And Began To Have Sex With Me.

I Opened My Eyes And I Told Him No And Stop. Then He Said, “This Isn’t Right I Rather Do This When Your Sober”.

He Got Off Of Me And I Attempted To Cover Myself Up And I Started Crying. He Was Trying To Fix Things…. He Was Panicking And He Offered Me Food And Water. I Had To Use The Bathroom And I Couldn’t Walk So I Told Him To Help Me, Then He Gave Me Two Pills To Take

By Then I Still Wasn’t Feeling Well, And On Top Of That I Wasnt As Drunk But I Was Tipsy And He Was Still Trying To Have Sex,

I Kept Talking About How Much He Used To Love Me … And He Told Me He Wanted To “Show His Love” By Having Sex, While That Was Happening, He Grabbed My Hand And Forced Me To Give Him A Hand Job , I Tried To Pull Away But I Was Still Weak…I Told Him No Because My Vaginal Area Was Very Sore, And I kept Saying This, He Kept Pushing The “I Want To Show You My Love” Line And I Agreed, We Had Sex Again And When It Was All Over My Head Was Pounding And My Heart Was Beating Fast. I Kept Saying The Room Is Spinning When It Really Wasn’t. In My Mind I Knew What Happened But The Reality Of The Situation Didn’t Hit Me Yet.

Afterwards I Was Looking Back And All I did Was Blame Myself, I Had A Weak Moment And I Let My Guard Down And He Took Advantage Of Me.