I just watched the Brave Miss World on Netflix. I was raped four times by four different men when I was between the ages of 16 and 22. I am now 44. I thought I was over all of it. The documentary showed me just how NOT over it I am. These situations have wreaked havoc on my entire life without me realizing it. And even though I know in my mind I was raped, in my heart I blame myself.
The sad part is that when I first logged on to this site, I saw the link to the Facebook page. My first thought was, “I’d like to join that page.” Followed immediately by my second thought, “I can’t do that because then everyone will know I was raped.”
I’m terrified to even hit the submit button to share this little bit. I guess if you get this, I will have been successful in submitting it. I have a long way to go to heal.
I am so impressed by your bravery. We want to believe we can be strong enough, that if we pretend these events don’t effect us that somehow that puts us back in control. But of course, the opposite is true. By admitting we were hurt by these events-and that we need to take steps to deal with that hurt-THAT is what puts us back in control. You have taken that first step. I wish I could give you a big hug.
First let me thank you for your encouragement. I wasn’t quite sure of the next step to take. I joined the Facebook page. It might be baby steps, but at least I am finally going in the right direction.