I think I was about 10 or 11 years old. He was a few years older then me, bit I felt like I would trust him. We were in my little brother and sister room, sitting on the floor. We were playing around, like play fighting when he got on top of me. I still thought we were playing, then he pinned me down while on too of me. I tried to get up and asked him to get off me, but there was no stopping him. He raped me that day and i didnt say anything. I didn’t know what to do, and he kept coming back almost every day until my family moved away. I never forgave my self til this day.
— Survivor, age 19
Dear survivor – thank you so much for posting your story here. What happened to you was NOT your fault!!!!!! Just because you trusted him does not make it your fault. You said no and no one has the right to do to you what he did. I would never judge you for not saying anything; coming forward is SO hard, especially when your attacker is someone you knew. I would encourage you to find a therapist to talk to who can help you forgive yourself. I wish that I could just say “you did nothing wrong and there’s nothing to forgive yourself for” – but I know what doesn’t work. A therapist might also be able to help you share your experience with others – if that’s something you want. You are not alone and probably there are more people in your life who understand than you realize… but telling people can be really scary. You are worth healing and it was not your fault! Sending you light and love, Alexis