Molested

I was 8 years old when my uncle first started touching me. The first time we were in the woods, and my uncle told my younger brother to go do something and when he left my uncle told me to pull down my pants and I can’t remember my exact thought at the time but at the time I didn’t think it was bad. I pulled down my pants and he walked around me and looked at my body up and down and then he told me to pull them back up. He did that same thing 4 times after that.

The last time happened when my dad took my brother home to his moms house. We started wrestling and I ran into my dads room and he pushed me over the bed. He told me to pull down my pants and I said why. He said pull down your pants and I did after I did he shoved his finger inside me and asked me if that hurt, I didn’t answer and she kept shoving his finger harder and harder in me. He pulled down his pants and told me to touch his private part and I asked why? He grabbed my hands and rubbed them up and down his privates. Then he pulled up his pants and went into the bathroom. I went in my room and laid on the bed and thought in my head what just happened.

I didn’t ever tell no one for four years. I told my mom and we went to the police station and I told them everything that happened. They arrested him and asked him questions and he admitted to what he had done to me. At the first court hearing the posted his bail and my grandparents bailed him out. They stopped talking to me after that.

A few months after that when I was 13. My step brother started touching me. I told him multiple times to stop but he never did. He would start my rubbing my shoulders and then start grabbing my boobs. I told my mom and step dad and they didn’t do anything about it. I told therapist what happened and she called the police. I had to move out of the house and I moved in with my grandparents for 6 months. I went to the hospital twice because I had thoughts about killing myself, the first time I went back home and the second time I went to a place called Rebound and stayed there for a week. I felt better after I got out but then everything changed I eventually moved back home and I’m currently still living with my step brother.

I want to get better, but I don’t think I ever will. I believe I have PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, and I’m Bipolar. I haven’t been to therapy in about 2 years and I want to start back. I want to give up and die, but I don’t want to leave my little brother, or younger sisters, and I don’t want to hurt my grandparents by doing that but I just wanna give up.. I don’t know what to do anymore.

— Survivor, age 15