I was 6 years old girl at the time and I remember everything clearly. the only person that new for a long time was my older sister who was “touched” by him too once. however what made want to talk about it is the fact that I have told my mom recently and she almost cried.
Now just you know I wasn’t the only one but I was the one he molested more than once since I was gullible and he was 14teen. he would tell me that he would me play with his video games if I let him do those stuff to me which consisted of him touching my private parts, laying me on the bed, kissing me, making me touch him and so on but thank god no rape. he would kiss me places and I would be okay with it cause he is letting me play with his games even though I am a girl. Something even worse and that I didn’t tell anyone was that one time in my daycare an old man was around and he put his hand in my pants.
I today as an 18-year-old girl cant enjoy sometimes being in love. I recently realized that I really would have no regret if I don’t get married or have a family of my own. I don’t know if this might be a side effect but I hope it will pass as my friends say.
I would go in more details but I would rather not resurface those memories.
I thank everyone who listens to my story and I hope no one judges how stupid i was at the time.
Thank you so much for speaking out! I really admire your courage and bravery to speak out against this sick, cruel act. You are strong and I hope that every day, you wake up with a smile. You did not deserve this, and I am heartbroken that you experienced this at such a young age where these things can really alter your perception of the world. I am happy you survived and please just know, it was never your fault. Also, yes, the after effects you mentioned are completely normal and it is not unusual at all. Have a good day and stay strong!
Thank you so much for sharing your story here. The amount of detail you share or don’t share is totally up to you and I completely respect it. I also respect *you*. What happened was NOT your fault and you weren’t stupid. You were young and we learn that our families are supposed to protect us. That adults are supposed to protect us.
I would encourage you to talk to someone about what you went through and your feelings now. You certainly don’t have to get married or have a family but it’s worth exploring those feelings and understanding where they come from. Like I said, there’s no right way but a therapist can help you work through those feelings in a safe and contained way. If you want those feelings to pass, I think it’s likely that the only way for that to happen is to work through them. Telling your mom is a great place to start. That must have been really hard to do and I’m proud of you. If your gut is telling you to I would encourage you to keep talking about it. I can’t promise the experience will always be positive but it can help to have others helping you carry the load.
Sending you lots of love, Alexis
Dear Survivor
The word “stupid” is the opposite of what you are, you are good hearted, brave and smart. You are so brave to write your story to help others. I hope you know that your cousin very badly committed a crime against you – it was NOT your fault and you DID NOT deserve it. You are a survivor and different survivors have different wishes and views. Some find the right partner to help them thru, in other cases they move in a different direction than marriage and family. Your decision will be completely right for you. Talking to someone – therapy etc can help very much. You are just now beginning to understand how badly you were treated – thru NO fault of your own, and your feelings are very important and never wrong. You are a hero and you have all of us supporting you