Back in 2013 probably end of summer, hard to recall because it’s all a blur, I was raped. I haven’t told the police nor my family about it as I was so ashamed and felt it was my fault. That night I was heavily drinking with my cousin for her friend’s birthday, she invited me out and I thought he was a nice guy so I decided to go with them and she said I could sleep at hr place as it was close to downtown. Anyways she ran into her ex and didn’t want me over because she wanted alone time with her ex, and my house was too far and a taxi was too expensive for me and I didn’t have the money. So she asked her guy friend who’s birthday it was if I can sleep at his place and he agreed. I remember her telling him to not touch me and assuring me he’s a trustworthy guy and she trusts himalot.so I thought I was safe as normally my cousins word was ways correct… Not this time. I remember I was passing out in the cab to his place and remember crashing on his couch and reminding him he’s not aloud to touch me. Next thing I’m waking up in his bed confused and have no underwear on or my bra… I immediately scrambled to find my stuff… Her friend told. Me I have to stay and he said to not leave and he was going to the bathroom. In that time I just grabbed my clutch and phone ans threw my shoes on an ran out the door. I remember Jim yelling after me and I just ran. It was 5 a and no buses were running yet and my phone was dying so I just called a friend to call the police if they don’t hear from me by 9am the latest. I ended up getting home and I felt sick and confused and couldn’t understand what happened. I thought it was my fault and was so mad I drank so much… But I knew I wouldn’t ever hook up with that guy under any circumstances. I tried telling my cousin what happened and she said he would never do that… So I kept it in. It’s eaten me Way inside, I fear seeing this guy some where daily as after taking some LW classes I realized… I was in fact raped… But now it’s too late to prove it and too late to do anything about it. I wish it was more educated what rape is etc.. As maybe I would have known. I felt like this completed changed me, and made my anxiety and depression fr worse. As I closed myself off from people because I felt like I was worthless.. Your show has made me feel I’m not alone and I need to be HEARD. Raps is a very tragic event anyman or woman goes through, it can cause serious mental and sometimes physical damage.
— Survivor, age 24
Dear Survivor – thank you so much for posting your story here!! You are absolutely right that you are NOT alone! What happened to you was NOT your fault. It doesn’t matter that you were drinking or went to his place; what he did is HIS fault. I think a lot of people are changed by rape but I do think you can heal from the anxiety and the depression. Whether or not you chose to call the police (it might be too late to report it – I don’t know – but I respect your decision no matter what), I would encourage you to talk to a therapist who can give you some tools to ease your anxiety and depression and help you work through all of your emotions. They can also help you decide how, or if, to tell your friends or family what happened.